Don't let the lusa saudade stop you
ADVANTAGES OF LINKING TO A PORTUGUESE
1 . The Portuguese are considered among the most handsome in the world. And it's not us who say it, but the magazine _ Traveler's Digest _ which in 2013 ranked the city of Lisbon as the fifth city in the world in number of attractive men (behind Buenos Aires, Amsterdam, New York and Stockholm) .
We cannot say the same about Portuguese women who, however, carry an unfair reputation of disheveled women being, according to obscure popular legends, somewhat mustachioed. Okay, they may not be the most stylish women on the planet but There is no doubt that there are very attractive Portuguese.
two. Optimized logistics. Marrying an Australian like Elsa Pataki has done is very glamorous, we do not deny it, but what a mess of planes and telephone bills. Portugal is at the ideal distance to don't see your in-laws too much but allowing you to manage the obligatory family matters with relative ease. It's all advantages.
3. You learn languages. Although it is most likely that they are the ones who learn Spanish perfectly and you end up speaking a mixture of Portuguese and absurd Spanish, the famous "portoñol".
This viewpoint... do you recognize it? instant love
WHAT THE PORTUGUESE ARE LIKE
- They are subtle, polite, leisurely but (you can't have everything) they are also a bit "delicate" (my husband, Portuguese, threatens me to sleep on the sofa tonight if I don't take back my last words, but I can't do it... I owe it to my professional ethics).
- The Portuguese are extremely proud of their country. So be careful with comments like “Portugal is almost Spain” or “we Spaniards always beat you at football”. Such an affront will immediately end your chances of having a Portuguese in your life.
- Yes, we have already said that our neighbors are not the joy of the garden but, in return, they are extremely loyal as friends, " muito porreiros". It's hard to get into their lives, but once you do, it's forever.
How to conquer them?
WARNINGS
- The Portuguese drink an average of three coffees a day , but not normal coffees, no. In a country where caffeine is almost a religion, tradition dictates asking for a bica , a short, ultra-concentrated coffee that the Portuguese revere . If you try to keep up with them like "You'll see how I adapt to your culture", you run the risk of suffering a severe tachycardia. You are warned.
- The Portuguese mother: behind a Portuguese there is always a family and, therefore, a mother. She this is a highly dangerous species and with which it is necessary to be very careful. Because the soup, the bacalhau à bras, or whatever the mother in question, they will never outperform your potato omelette or your beloved paella. It's a lost war . We do not know if the Portuguese mãe reaches the myth of the Italian mamma but she is close. We recommend the greatest of caution to handle this uncomfortable element. Remember that one of the triggers for Irina Shayk's breakup with Cristiano Ronaldo it was her bad relationship with her mother-in-law... and when the river sounds...
Get ready to drink a lot of coffee and... for impressive landscapes
KEYS TO CONQUEST
If despite all our warnings you are firmly determined to start the conquest, here are our say (tips) :
you look horrible . If on your first date with a Portuguese man he exclaims when he sees you: “what a fright” or “you look frightful”, don't cross your face. “Frightening” refers to something impressive or beautiful.
Liga-me . If after talking for several hours with a Portuguese (or Portuguese) he tells you Liga-me, that's good news. But don't jump, please: Liga-me means "Call me" . It's something.
AND FINALLY, THE IBERIAN UNION
Congratulations, you have achieved it. You have the dreaded mother under control, her friends like you... but we warn you that you will be bound to listen to an old Portuguese saying for the rest of your days : “From Spain nem bom vento nem bom casamento” (From Spain neither good wind nor good marriage) which alludes to the fact that nothing that comes from the other side of the border (that is, us) is good.
But don't worry, it's quite bearable.
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