Love or hate, what will it be this time?
You consider having dinner alone, but it seems absurd to have him looking at you with a bad face while you do it. You can't go anywhere else , because you couldn't contact him afterwards. Return each one by his side to the hotel? You don't even think about it: a) You know you're going to lose. b) What madness is that of taking two taxis?! " Is it really that important to eat? "You start to think. However, when you are hungry, you become like a baby tyrannosaurus rex and your goal is not to reflect on the vagaries of human appetite, but TO EAT . And so more than an hour passes undisguised hate , which goes in crescendo until it turns out that, thanks to waiting, you find and he best place you will eat on the whole trip. And although you would never want to be lighthearted again (damn, damn!), little by little, your face is mutating from frowning emoji to emoji with hearts in the eyes.
This is an example, but there are infinite ones, of how traveling with your partner is a wonderful and terrifying thing at the same time. Normally, the balance tips towards the first term, which is why we are so hooked on plan vacations together , but it is rare the getaway in which you agree on absolutely everything. If you add to that the tiredness, the stress of being on time to airplanes and other means of transport and the various oversights ("How come you lost your dollars?!"), the cocktail -Molotov- is served.
"Traveling is a very rewarding activity, also for a relationship. As long as you are in a good stage , going on trips together helps to take care of positive aspects of the relationship, since it means getting out of the routine, sharing special moments, get excited about knowing places and spend more time together. We are talking about quality time, which will allow the couple communicate, laugh, feel closer and get to know each other. All this helps to share positive feelings, enhancing the idea of feeling good with the other."
This is how he explains it to us Marina Gonzalez del Rio , clinical psychologist and specialist in couple problems at ** CINTECO (** Madrid). Not only do we agree with it, but we want to emphasize that "get to know each other", because few situations allow you to know more about your partner than a trip. The honeymoon would have to take place before the wedding!
Everything is going well until you prefer to eat his plate instead of yours
THE FORBIDDEN TIME FOR TRAVELS AS A COUPLE
However, according to the expert, only there is a case in which these little frictions can lead to rupture , and will occur if there are problems to solve . "In those cases in which there are previous conflicts, in which the relationship is going through a difficult time, traveling as a couple can encourage more discussion and increase the feeling of discomfort. It is not a good idea to try to solve problems by taking a trip . If a couple is having a bad time, the first thing is to fix what is causing them conflicts. Getting away can be a good way to reward yourself once the problems are resolved", he warns. In fact, it is proven that **more divorces occur after the summer,** which finds an explanation in the increase in hours we spend with our partners when our relationship is not going all good.
Without going that far, **the smartest thing is to take it as The Fighting Couple **, a couple of travelers who recounts in detail each of his fights around the world , defending the motto "Royal Couple. Royal Travels" . At the Louvre, for example, Mike wanted to see the ten works of art that he considered the most important, while Luci preferred to browse the museum. When they wanted to realize they had lost sight of and several hours passed until they met again at the hotel, she starving - he had all the money - and very angry to learn that Mike had spent sixty euros to dine like a king.
"We love to travel, and yes... we fight. But fighting can be a positive thing , if you do it fairly. The act of arguing simply confronts two people passionate about their points of view. What's wrong with that?", they argue, not without reason, because their small affronts do not prevent them from continuing to travel with the same illusion of the first day. Of course, they have had to find creative solutions . For example, c Every year they take turns deciding where they will fly, actively try not to get lost (even together) so as not to cause a stressful situation, and try to respect your limits and those of the other, among which are not eating and drinking too much and not force the other to spend more time than necessary with their in-laws on vacation.
Alarm! Alarm!
**THE SECRET FOR EVERYTHING TO GO WELL (OR, AT LEAST, AS BEST AS POSSIBLE) **
There are those, like ** travel blogger Diana Garces **, spend 24 hours a day living -and on many occasions, traveling- with her boyfriend. In her case, she has been doing it since 2008 and she doesn't fight! "Sincerely, for me it has been an excellent experience traveling as a couple. I couldn't tell you something bad , because, quite simply, I don't think there is, nor is there any way to travel alone. They are two different ways of traveling and seeing the world. However, it is true that if you are used to traveling alone, maybe traveling as a couple will overwhelm you a bit, because it is not the same to make decisions and do the whole process by yourself than to have to discuss everything with your travel companion. Sharing loads is not easy when you are self-sufficient, but it is something that is learned quickly and that, above all, one comes to get used to faster than it seems ", she explains.
Her secret to not dramatizing issues on which they disagree is as simple as it is complex: communicate honestly . "I confess you that I don't remember a fight with my partner since we were dating, and that was many years ago. We disagree on many things, but we never fight about it. We talked a lot, we reached a consensus. When we travel, the biggest discussion we've had has been about leave early or not for sightseeing , but after many years traveling together, we already know how to get around those issues. The point is to speak. A lot of communication, but above all, quality communication, nothing to suppose, nor to say the things that you do not like or you like halfway. You have to be honest and sincere to avoid problems and have the best experience possible," she tells us.
How well everything goes when everything goes well!
For her part, the psychologist Marina González also offers us A similar guide to living a discussion-free vacation yes:
- get excited together with the preparation of the trip and talk about what they would like to do, what places to see... This will favor communication and sharing positive feelings.
- Consider the trip as a "prize" , as something very special for the relationship. Traveling is a good investment for the care of the couple's relationship.
- Take into account the preferences of each and know how to give in before the tastes of the other. Do not try to impose: listening to the other and expressing what each one wants is a good communication exercise.
- Favor quality moments and enjoy them . A quiet walk, a special dinner... Feeling close, expressing positive feelings.
- Avoid talking about problems or topics that generate tension.
- Learn to handle mishaps that may arise during the trip. Sometimes difficulties arise, things are not as expected and that can affect, but it can be prevented from contaminating the vacation. You have to try to have a positive attitude to be able to enjoy.
- Bring the suitcase full of memories, especially, of the positive feelings that have been shared with the couple, and talk about them. In the same way that a trip is remembered by looking at the photos, remember that in many of those moments there were very special feelings.
- Once back, keep taking care of the relationship.
...And they ate partridges