La Chata, a traditional bar in Madrid's La Latina
And the thing is that the only thing that a traditional bar and a neo-tavern have in common is the caramel-colored Duralex plate in which they serve you the tapa. That is why the time has come to review some basic rules of behavior that allow us to be the perfect patron in any self-respecting bar. Without attracting attention.
1. Tapas are for eating. Do not waste time photographing it or uploading it to social networks. (It won't be the same if it gets cold. And you know it).
two. There are two things you should never - I repeat, never - ask for: that they change the lid, or the wifi key.
3. Better go slowly. Especially if it's aperitif time and bar is full . Wait for the waiter to locate you. Trust him; he booked you from the moment you walked in the door.
This is a jar. And point.
Four. Calling the waiter 'boss' to serve you is a beginner's mistake. Don't do it. And you will see how everything flows like silk.
5. Do not put on a disgusted face when you see the floor full of garbage from the ranges, because you will have to do the same: throw them away without hesitation. Trust me, you're not doing the waiter any favors if you bother him by asking for a little dish so you don't have to dirty the floor any more.
6. Ask for the beer by its name: beer, bottle, third or in a cool mug . And nothing more. This is not a place where Ales, Ipas or Lagers are accepted.
7. Remember that gin and tonics are served whole , no half drinks or half. Not even at aperitif time, no matter how fashionable it is outside these four walls.
8. In the case of wine, do not get sybaritic by asking about small producers, exclusive payments, signature wines or natural production. With choosing between Rioja or Ribera, you have more than enough.
9. Of course, the tap vermouth . From the only faucet they have.
10. Seats are not reserved . You just show up and make yourself strong where you can. The best posture is: back straight, head high and elbow flexed. Impassable.
Seats are not reserved: here, BARRA
eleven. Be prepared to hold the bottle and lid saucer with one hand . The other hand must be free to take the croquette to the mouth. It requires dexterity, but with a little training it can be achieved.
12. All tapas are eaten with the hands -torreznos, prawns, omelette…- except the salad or the meats in sauce. So don't bother the waiter asking for a knife and fork: if he hasn't given you one, it's because you don't need it.
13. Do not look for 'Iberian lizard' on the menu. Here what they take are the traditional tigers.
14. The only raw fish you will see is anchovies in vinegar . They are also eaten with chopsticks (but I am not referring to the Chinese ones).
Anchovies in Pikachos
fifteen. There are also no miniburgers or toilets. But yes a leg of ham, a bag of chips and many preserves.
16. Traditional paper napkins do not clean . That's how it is. But they are one of the most effective rod holders. Don't waste them.
17. Better not put on the best clothes to enter. Because the stains -of whatever- are insured.
18. Not looking for the digital hand dryer in the bathroom . They only have the usual analogue: paper napkins or the toilet roll itself. It never fails.
19. Leaving tips is not only ok, but it was invented in bars like this one. So keep that in mind before you go.