Because mother there is only one, but she spreads a lot
You've spent your life listening to "Do you think this is a hotel?" But when she decides to go to a real one, your mother doesn't finish seeing it completely either... Because there's only one mother, but it's outrageous.
1. Short circuit of the umbilical cord. "But what have you lost two weeks in that place?" (read the italics with singular spite) . It was already painful for you to emancipate yourself but this is already going from brown to dark.
two. "You're going to kill me with disgust." Fuss proportional to the inability to locate the aforementioned country on a map.
3. Geopolitical clairvoyance. The world is divided between the "real" European Union countries (about 7) and the rest of the planet. Between both there is a border of igneous fire that indicates danger of death and destruction.
Four. "Neither interrail nor interrail." And there is not more to talk.
5. He prepares you a first-aid kit that could supply half the Red Cross in Africa...
6.... in which a (providential) is not missing vial of mercromine dry edge and doubtful expiration , which you already imagine spilled all over the suitcase, like happy props from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
Mother there is only one... but it spreads a lot
7.**Your time uses (without h) **. You will think that this tenacious vibration is one more phase of your REM sleep, finally aborted on the other side of the planet. But not: it's your mother calling you after lunch, which is the time that suits her best before talking to your aunt.
8. For the eighth time before walking out the door (and maybe over the phone): "Do you have the tickets?" . And explain again about the mobile application...
9. "But how many vacations do you have?"
10. "Close the suitcase with a padlock!" That sinvivir that makes you think that all the drug traffickers on the continent are lining up to put drugs in your luggage. Sources used in his argument: Report Weekly Report, year 98.
There are suitcases with which it is better not to come across...
eleven. "Give me the phone number of your fellow travelers. I will only call them if there is an emergency".
12. Failure of the SAR. Devastating lack of definition of the term urgency , which should not include, under any circumstances, situations such as not being connected to WhatsApp due to lack of Wi-Fi for an hour and a half.
13. The classic. "Wrap up", also by message. You can already be in the Tropics sweating water bumps, you won't get rid of the phrase.
14. Wherever you go, a distant inner echo will reach you which, like a Freudian unconscious, will insist that it is better to pay 25 euros more to sleep in a bed with ironed sheets.
fifteen. "Beware of those people (again, italics in blood)" . In a broad sense, very broad. It is the variant of "don't talk to strangers" for people over 18 years of age.
16. Butterfly effect in DANGER version. That there is an earthquake in Chile is reason enough for me to riddle you calls in Berlin to see if you're okay . One never knows.
"Are you NOT eating well?"
17. The syndrome of "Are you eating well?" or the inability to conceive of a table other than their own with food compartmentalized on plates.
18. "Naive!". If he asks you to send him photos, it is not to see that bucolic lake, but to verify, with the eye of a mother, and even without close-up glasses, that you are losing weight and that you should come home as soon as possible.
19. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do" . Which includes walking out the door.
twenty. Spanish mother in panic? Laugh at Putin on a busy day. If you don't want to provoke an international crisis involving the Foreign Office, NATO and the four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, he shows signs of life from time to time.
twenty-one. "Your cousin is getting married in March" . Come to mind or not, you will drop some laconic WhatsApp like that, in which you will know how to read, even if it does not put it: and you out there doing the idiot.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do, is that clear?