Things we should never overlook in a beach bar
Unbearable happiness, so much happiness that it does not fit on the 4.7-inch mobile screen, it is not acceptable to resist so many perfect photographs in Formentera, Ibiza or the Algarve, in the coves of Mallorca, Aiguablava or Zahara de los Atunes. In the Philippines or Iceland, So much smile and so much happiness is not possible. Host already.
And of that mud, of course... The return from the holidays brings us back to reality. It is no coincidence that the annual peak of divorces is at the end of August —and I believe, it does not have so much to do with the “too many frustrated expectations” so common in a psychological cabinet in a mezzanine in Las Salesas, but rather with that puerile state to which any holiday period submits to us: we will call it Everything is alright always™ .
During the Everything is alright always™ the subject in question is forced (“for two weeks that I have, tete”) to be happy yes or yes, so that all the experiences are memorable, all the blue beaches, all the anthological powders and all the rice dishes are at their point . Yes or yes. And of course… what is happening in our cerebellum? That we send our ability to judge to the sewers . We justify everything, everything is fine, everything works like clockwork as long as the scale of happiness is overflowing with points; and what any failure in any restaurant on any Thursday in October (what do I know, a small delay in service) becomes an unbearable insult: "I'm not coming back!". Nothing happens in August look what a beach, darling; let's calm down, we're on vacation . And so, everything.
Well no. At Mantel & Cuchillo we don't care if it's July or April. What is good, is; and what is not, is just as bad; and we're pretty sure that Everything is alright always™ it becomes especially evident in gastronomy, and let alone with so many beach bars. These are the things that never-never-ever in a beach bar, whenever it is.
Rage against the Frozen Kibble
THE SERVICE, THE MOTHER OF THE LAMB
So many beach clubs double and even triple staff during the summer period; this translates to "anything goes" (Do you want to work? Pass), lack of professionalism and bad faces. I understand the overwhelm and saturation, but I'm sorry: it's not my problem.
FROZEN? REALLY?
You sell me a beachfront beach bar but you serve me frozen seafood croquettes, Mercadona Caesar salad and withered lemons like the adolescence of Juan Manuel de Prada. Nope.
VINEGAR OF MODENA
When will we put an end to this plague of “artistic decoration” of plates with balsamic acetate? It bores us, like so many dishes: sirloin with foie gras, salmon tartar or chocolate coulant. A beach bar does not have to be synonymous with gastronomic narrowness, do not you think? There you have the examples of Casa Manolo, Toc al Mar, Chiringuito Pikachos or Salt Restaurant.
CHILL LOUNGE HOUSE FLAMENCO DANCE MUSIC
About the music, friends: about the music. I read in Los 40 Principales: "What greater pleasure is there, after bathing and sunbathing, than going to the beach bar to drink something cool with the hottest summer songs playing in the background?" Enough of Chambao, enough of Café del Mar compilation CDs, enough of chill, enough of ambient and for goodness sake, Enough of Enrique Iglesias. To all this, Is the song of the summer 'La Bicicleta' or 'Duele el corazón'?
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Mediocre beach bars OUT