Walk through the desert as if it were a parade in Paris
1. SOCIAL NETWORKS
-Download Instagram only and only to upload photos of the trip. Leave it when you return. Everyday life does not deserve to have hashtags.
-Be the king of Foursquare for a week doing check-in at all hours.
two. GADGET AND APPAREL
-Load with iPad at all hours to take photos.
-Lomography, in general.
-Wear a colonel tapioca vest to visit Retirement.
3. PHOTOGRAPHS
-Believe Robert Cape when taking a photo lying down, sticking out your feet and with the sea/pool in the background.
-Believe Benedetti Accompanying it with some simple verse.
-Take a picture of the boarding screen From the airport. Or what is more stupid, do it even if your flight has a red 'Delayed'.
-Forcing indigenous children to leave smiling in your safari photos.
-Take photos of the hotel room and the views from the terrace.
-self-photograph with any shop window, fence or sign that puts the name of the city in which you are.
-Post photos with locals and other foreigners implying that you have made friends.
- Perpetuate that relationship Facebook.
-Miss him in the first drunk.
believe you are a celebrity
Four. AIRPLANES AND AIRPORTS
-Ask the manager check in which of the 9,230,812,903 airline loyalty cards they accept for your flight.
-Pack the suitcase up to go Burgos.
-Leave the billing sticker posted throughout the trip so everyone knows where you've been. Do the same after the return.
-Protest all in one low-cost even if the trip cost you €4.
-complain about jet lag even if you have traveled to Marrakech.
-Don't get excited at takeoff because, "all in all, it's one of many".
-Ship last on purpose to appear more professional.
-Cross the exit door as if a horde of fans was awaiting your arrival with posters and excitement.
-Cross the door expecting to find a driver with your name on a piece of paper and the limousine parked at the door.
-Leave the airport with helmets on as if you were a celebrity.
5. IDIOM
-Back to Cadiz, Girona either Valladolid with the accent of the place.
-Be offended because in the Yasuni jungle no one speaks english.
-Return from spending 5 days in Scotland As if you had forgotten Spanish.
-Put an accent british to any place you've been.
-Edinburgh is now 'Edimborc'.
-Call the cities by their name in their language: milan, Munich ,London etc
-Learn everyone's name the neighborhoods of the cities visited to then be able to make comments such as "I have never seen shops like the ones in Sablon".
Be a local, but your way
6. MUSEUMS
-Enter all museums to say that you have been there.
-Fuck a audio guide and plug their headphones into the mobile.
-Buy at the store from the museum.
-Take the map of the museum to "don't miss a thing, guys".
-Read the explanations in the brochure 5 minutes before and repeat to your companions the key ideas to make you smart.
-Do it PRO level: consulting on wikipedia and forums before going to the museum.
7. HOTEL
-Statements such as "Here they give away stars to hotels" or "Europeans don't know have breakfast ".
-hold up Good night with the all-inclusive bracelet.
-Use to buttons Even if you carry a carry-on bag.
-Reject the amenities.
8. CUSTOMS
-Go to famous brunch of... even if you have never tasted one in your life.
-Go for a run Hyde Park or by Central Park even if you don't run or on sale.
9. PREVIOUS
-Print boarding passes and other guides at work and leave some loose paper in the printer for someone to ask: "Who's going on a trip to Honolulu?"
-Make you the professional fucking brochures of travel agencies.
-Say phrases like "my brother-in-law, who is pilot , he has told me that the best prices come out 6 weeks before the flight. " Show professionalism and control prices.
10. SOUVENIRS
-Turn your fridge into the travel diary.
-Make impossible collections like the t-shirts of all the Hard Rocks or the cups of all the cities.
-deny the kitschy souvenir.
Starring in a music video on the beach
eleven. FEELINGS
-Miss you mattress and proclaim it.
-Miss the food, the people, the language, etc.
-Travel to meet oneself.
12. BEACH
-Anger x beach because it has cultural escapades nearby.
-Take your sneakers to run on the beach.
-To go very cute to lie on the sand.
13. MOUNTAIN
-Leave the mark of the glasses to show that you have been skiing.
-Pretend ignorance of the concept après ski and carry a suitcase just for it.
-And you, can you think of any more posturing?
*** You may also be interested in...**
- How to behave in Malasaña
- Museum fauna
- All articles by Javier Zori del Amo