Greetings from Springfield
In 1935, in the midst of the Great Depression, Soviet journalists Ilf and Petrov toured the United States from coast to coast . The tribulations of this curious road trip were inventoried in La América de una planta, (Acantilado editorial), a recommendable travel book for those who wish to approach the United States by road.
In it, Ilf and Petrov relate with fascination this disconcerting phenomenon, that of the nondescript cities , so similar to each other "like those Canadian quintuplets who sometimes even confuse their own mother."
All these towns have a Manhattan Café where you can have apple pie, point out the incredulous Russian journalists. They all have a Main Street, with its corresponding Ford dealership, they point out not without some dismay. "If Americans ever land on the moon, there is no doubt that they will build an identical city there to these in all their details”, they venture.
Ilf and Petrov, at work
TOPONYMY FOR VAGOS
As happens to some people, the drama of these towns begins early: with their name. **They are victims of a ruthless and endemic American species, the lazy surveyors **. In the 50 American states, there are a total of 46 Riversides, 45 Centerville, 43 Fairview, 42 Franklin, 40 Midway, 39 Pleasant Valley, and 38 Liberty. Springfield, although it has the fame of being the most widespread place name thanks to The Simpsons series, is only present in 35 states.
Ilf and Petrov also draw attention to this phenomenon: “Several cities are named after Paris and London . There is a Shanghai, a Jarbin and a ten of St. Petersburg . Aside from Ohio's Moscow, there are a couple more in two other states. There is an Odessa, although it is not on the shore of the Black Sea or any other sea, but in the state of Texas.
Wapakoneta, hometown of Neil Armstrong
THE REBELLION OF BOREDOM
Despite their names, small and medium-sized American cities are faithful representatives of the famous American spirit of overcoming and they tend to proudly claim : “They have taken heroic measures to distinguish themselves from their sisters”, agree the Soviets. “For example, they have hung a sign at the entrance, as merchants do at the door of their stores, to indicate to potential customers the nature of their products. Redwood city, reads one of them, and then comes these verses: the best weather according to government forecasts”.
The main characteristic of this delirious rebellion against the bland is its peaceful character; its greatest advantage, will delight any traveling joke collector . From a three-month journey that I made in 2009, I still have some of these innocent curiosities written down in a notebook. For example: Muskegon, Michigan, which claimed to be the site of the annual convention of the Buster Keaton Society or Wapakoneta (Ohio), hometown of the first astronaut to walk on the moon, Neil Amstrong.
In the absence of the Empire State, imagination is valued. The anecdote rises to the category of virtue and begins the display of hyperboles, a race whose culmination came for the Russians the day they ran into a population that presumed to be “America's Biggest Small Town”.
Wapakoneta, hometown of Neil Armstrong
Soviet writers, immersed during their trip in a constant state of surprise and admiration, shelve the matter of boring cities in a decisive way: “In that systematic monotony lies the colossal strength and inexhaustible wealth of the United States” . During mine, it wasn't hard to imagine a task force of city officials trained to snoop through newspaper archives or comb every inch of the city for some crazy, harmless record: the tallest Episcopalian church in Warren County or the statue of a largest baseball bat in the country (which, by the way, is in Louisville, Kentucky).
These attempts by those in nondescript cities to carve out a unique identity are not desperate, but they border on the tone of a self-help manual and produce a certain tenderness. Knowing other American foreign marketing techniques, I stay with the tenderness.
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