Love is overrated: GO!
what a breaking off is the worst love drama is a fallacy. Not much is said about the rest of passion puzzles as it should. what about those toxic relationships that never consolidate but neither do they end.
From those “points and ends” before the story has started or the fear of pronouncing “relationship” in case you cause a stampede.
Of those innumerable appointments to which you arrive with a smile and from which you leave with a face that has the name of your ex-partner written on it, the same one that went from being the love of your life to having eyes for someone else.
And what about that perfect girl or boy that fate crossed your path one night and yet you didn't ask for the phone.
A couple? Friends? Friends with benefits?
And no, being single is not the problem , the difficult part is getting out of the limbo of heartbreak, escaping from the loop of constant comings and goings, being aware that the “a nail pulls out another nail” is a myth In all rules.
Do you hardly remember what that thing about the butterflies in the stomach ? Tired of matching on Tinder? We know that no doctor is capable of cure lovesickness , but there is a home remedy that has nothing to envy to medicine: to travel. And not only do we say it, but it reaffirms it psychologist Jaime Burque.
“ affective dependence it is a hook that we have to the other person that prevents us from leaving that relationship even if we are very unhappy with it. Traveling serves to break these chains because it gives us perspective, it can help us meet people, rethink our priorities or gain self-esteem and meaning of life”, he comments.
The white hair with friends -Rattling about the aforementioned on duty- they are fine in the short term. But there comes a time when that monotonous routine will stop numbing you and will make you see ghosts where there aren't any:
“Oh, he loved that song! (long, very long, sip of beer)”, “Last time I came to this restaurant it was with him...” , “We always went on Sundays to The Latin ”.
What if you change your base of operations for one of the bars in Budapest?
Not to mention those dead hours of dramatic overtones in which you debate between continuing to feed your anguish checking your social media again , send another emotional message or subscribe to the plan “sofa, blanket and romantic movie” who sponsors Netflix.
But dear globetrotter, wallowing in uneasiness won't do you any good, much less help you find your better half. For this reason, we suggest that you travel and experiment the healing powers of an escape.
WHY DOES TRAVELING HELP TO OVERCOME LOVE SICKNESS?
“After an emotional breakup, we go through a process of mourning or acceptance, a very necessary process that helps us recover from a love loss. When we live this duel a trip can come in handy overcome it, oxygenate ourselves, heal wounds or relativize what happened ”, explains the psychologist Jaime Burque. To which we add these tips:
It sounds cliché, but you need to “get out of your comfort zone”. Mark your own ghosting and disappear for a few days. The process of thinking about where to go, where to stay, what you can visit, what restaurants you cannot miss... will be a first step to silence that buzzing noise that continually whispers the name of your Romeo or Juliet.
Forgetting the world in a big city is possible
And as for the eternal dilemma "field or city? ", the psychologist James Burque he gives us an answer: “The countryside sounds like a moment to think, to reflect, to relax in contact with silence and nature. For its part, a big city encourages to activate, to feel free, fill yourself with energy and meet people”.
You will be far from the big problem. Both speaking of breakups and conflicts of interest, distance yourself from those scenarios that were previously ideal for recording a romantic film in the style of Before dawn (and titles like Gone with the Wind or The Impossible now evoke you), it's a good way to start debugging yourself.
It is the perfect excuse to meet up with friends. Who said that long-distance love was only for couples? Surely you have a friend who, unfortunately, does not live in your city or who **has gone for a few months to study or work in another country**. Well, it's a good time to break boundaries and fan the flame of that great friendship.
Spending a few days in a new destination will recharge your batteries. That inevitable emotion that you feel when stepping on foreign lands for the first time, the satisfaction of discovering a new restaurant in that city that you like to visit so much, go to a pub and be sure that you are NOT going to meet that person who has played with your feelings, meeting people... All are advantages!
Traveling alone can be a good option
TRAVEL ALONE OR ACCOMPANIED?
“ It depends on where we are and how we are. If everything is recent after a breakup, it may be good for us to go with our friends on a trip to feel accompanied, but there are also times when a solo trip helps ”, reveals Jaime Burque.
There are more independent people who need to grieve alone, but each person has their vital moment, and James Burque gives us a clear example.
“A patient I had recently was totally hooked on a relationship that only hurt her a lot.
She had very strong levels of insecurity and felt very blocked in life but **she insisted on going on a trip to Vietnam alone**, a goal that she almost failed to achieve due to how difficult it was (loneliness, never had traveled, the unknown…) . She surprisingly she dared and from there she grew as a person ”, he confesses to us.
Barcelona will not leave you indifferent
For our part, if you have never traveled alone, we recommend you follow these tips:
1. Sleep in a hostel. Shared rooms and people wanting to socialize. What else do you need to start making new friends? In addition, you will hardly have time to find yourself alone with your thoughts. We give faith.
2. Travel to a destination where you know that at a time of relapse you can use some reeds for help with a friend or acquaintance.
3.Choose a destination with a wide gastronomic and cultural offer, with a great architectural legacy and, ultimately, where there is no room for boredom.
Four. Try to reduce your addiction to talking to that person on the mobile even if it is an arduous task. “The theory says that it is best not to be in contact, but that does not usually happen in such a clear-cut way.
The key here is not to force yourself out of contact, ** the trick is to fill yourself with experiences **, self-esteem or growth. From there and in a natural way we will cut off contact ”, explains the psychologist Jaime Burque.
On the other hand, if you prefer to be accompanied, choose your partner in crime well . None of those friends who absorb your energy with their lamentations. Do not go with an apathetic person or who likes to be the protagonist of each conversation.
You need your comrade to be someone active, positive and with whom you have enough confidence to share a brief existential crisis. If he or she is in the same situation as you, you will help each other out.
With friends everything is easier
As for the time, don't worry, any getaway is good to disconnect regardless of its duration. We assure you that when you get on a train, a bus or a plane, your worries stay on the ground. And, who knows, maybe you are one journey away from finding the love of your life.
“I don't think you need to go around the world for 6 months to notice the benefits of a trip. I insist a lot that you don't have to escape, you have to look for yourself. Even a weekend trip to a nearby site can have a wonderful effect ”, concludes the psychologist.
We go?