New friends in pandemic? There is still hope.
After almost a year of the pandemic** our social relations, even with our most intimate beings, have been affected**. Once the restrictions are lifted, it is possible that we will be so overwhelmed by wanting to be with all those friends and family that we have not been able to see in months, that we may not know how to manage it.
To this is added the little capacity for movement that we are having to socialize and meet new people . Gone are those times when traveling was our way of life and in which in each trip or getaway we made a new friend. Is it impossible to continue maintaining a social network and meeting people in a pandemic? How can we do it with so many restrictions? Will it cost us to return to normality once everything is over?
How to meet new people after a year of isolation?
Community life is the main philosophy of DreamSea Surf Camp, located in places as incredible as Nicaragua, Bali or Sri Lanka, and also in France, Spain or Portugal. This type of surf camp is dedicated to opening the doors of paradisiacal destinations to people interested in sports, healthy living and eager to socialize . Undoubtedly, the restrictions in these countries have caused them to close their doors to tourism, although, yes, not in Europe where they have noticed (especially in summer) more influx of guests.
Let's say that for them the social section is part of their essence, so giving it up has not been easy . “For us, the idea of surf camp is not just to bring together people with the same hobbies. We humbly think it goes further. For us, the idea of surf camp has a more holistic and complete approach, our philosophy is focused on sharing a great passion: the passion of living free from stress , to live in tune and harmony with what one does, to reconnect with nature or your center, to get out of your monotonous work routine, to escape from the city and, of course,** also the passion to discover new experiences ** through practices as fantastic as surfing, yoga, hiking, stand up paddle, etc.”.
who speaks is Daniel Oliver Taño , one of the owners of DreamSea Surf Camp, who tells us how such a communal place has had to adapt to the new restrictions and ways of relating -and miraculously it continues to work-.
“The truth is that we have not changed much. It is true that we have had to suppress or seek other alternatives to certain group activities, such as making a group cultural tour of selected cities (Lisbon, Porto, San Sebastian, Santander); and in sports activities we have had to reduce the capacity to guarantee security measures. As at lunchtime,** we have expanded our facilities to have more space** (always outdoors). And finally, yes, we have been forced to suppress our ** nightlife ** when it involved dancing or partying. Now we do more chill or acoustic concerts and people don't go out to dance in a pineapple”, he points out.
But what they have noticed is a change in their guests. “People value much more these small doses of freedom that one grants oneself by going to a place like a surf camp . In short, people have a more humble spirit and a greater desire to have a good time and we believe that it is the most humane thing to do after undergoing such high social stress due to the pandemic.”
The photographer Cecilia Alvarez She defines herself as a social being, not only personally but also in her work with whom she used to travel daily and meet people of all kinds: from the fashion and travel sector, yes; but also of weddings since she has a company dedicated to this type of photography (Rose wine days).
As she tells us, before the pandemic they carried out up to 70 weddings a year , something that was reduced to 8 in 2020. From San Sebastián, part of the quarantine and the new restrictions with uncertainty, anxiety and doubts ; although as she confesses, living in a city with a sea helps a lot.
“I am a VERY SOCIAL being and I frankly have a bad time not going out, not being able to dance, see a concert having to sit down or get together with a large group of friends and drink beers on the beach… We have spent many months without those little routine things that made us happy (but that we had never been aware of it) and each time this is making more of a dent”.
This year he has barely been able to meet new people , but he does highlight two new people that he has added to his life: “I have managed to meet some wonderful people, like the girls with whom I did a campaign for Quiksilver in Les Landes; or my beloved Clara Díez, whom paradoxically I only knew through the RRSS, but as a result of a song we did with her for Traveler in the Sacred River , has become one of the best additions to my list of special people.”
She has also taken advantage of make the most of your creativity , in fact confirms that this year has been the most creative in a long time. And to cope with the isolation his recipe has been to try to surround himself with close people , that safety net that many of us have woven in these months.
“I try to cook healthy and maintain routines, go out to see the sea whenever I can and try to embark on work projects that I am passionate about, that make me get up every morning motivated. I have also been doing psychoanalysis therapy for almost a year and a half. , and this helps me infinitely in many aspects of my life but also to cope with this situation”.
WHAT PSYCHOLOGY SAYS
As social beings, there is no possible technology (for now) that can replace a hug, a caress, an animated chat between friends until the wee hours of the morning, or any relaxed day without thinking about restrictions or that we can get infected when crossing the corner. . This is what the psychologist tells us Ona Gomis Zalaya , member of the College of Psychology of Catalonia.
“Not being able to have physical contact ends up emotionally wearing down . Some people are afraid to interact even with the right distance or to go outside, either because they contract the virus or because they transmit it to people nearby who may be at risk. Having a threat of being able to contract a disease is even more frightening and can make us more suspicious when it comes to meeting new people since you do not know their history, you do not know who they have been in contact with before seeing you. Therefore,** the other is distrusted and this leads us to be in a permanent state of fear and alert**”.
And she adds: "We can have doubts about whether we don't want to leave the house because we feel comfortable at home or because the fact of going out to make plans with people really makes us anxious."
Because let's not forget that emotional fatigue has been added to the restrictions, which everyone talks about, which is one of the main potholes that we also find when meeting people. This is confirmed by the photographer Ignacio Izquierdo, who claims to have fallen these months into a general apathy that he tries to combat on a daily basis.
His work in Madrid allowed him a dynamism that he now lacks. Although the restrictions in the city do not seem to have stopped work activities, he explains that the city is not what it seems and that it is unrecognizable. Meeting new people and socializing is a fundamental part of his job and it is something he misses a lot..
“Move, discover new places and enrich myself with new people. Now that you ask and reflect on it, I don't think I've met any new person in person in these months. Yes, the online part has been promoted and social networks have filled a large part of this gap, but we still do not have a technology that overcomes meeting someone to chat over coffee and looking into each other's eyes.
However, the psychologist Yolanda Artero, also a member of the Col·legi de Psicologia de Catalunya, brings a completely more optimistic and hopeful side.
“This adverse situation, in turn, has brought us a gift . We have been able to identify who we really had by our side and who we could count on and who we could not. We know more than ever our partner or our friends, the family . Without a doubt, we have consolidated relationships and others we have let go. We have identified our values, distinguishing what is important from what is not, "separating the wheat from the chaff" and whether these values are, in turn, shared with our partner, friends, co-workers and family" .
HOW TO OVERCOME SOCIAL ANXIETY (AND SOCIALIZE)
How can we meet people and overcome social anxiety? Can we really do it right now?
the psychologist Ona Gomis Zalaya is of the opinion that, taking into account the current health situation and the restrictions implemented in each period, it would be important to adapt and leave little by little so as not to get stuck in a routine of social isolation. "Isolating ourselves will only generate a state of permanent apathy from which it will cost us more and more to get out."
"You have to give a new concept to the celebration, to knowing and also, for the moment, to traveling".
Provide keys like nurturing relationships from a position of positive coping , “giving us the opportunity to start over in each reality, reformulate situations, set short-term personal goals and adapt the habits of each one (including leisure time). Each person will manage what they feel differently and, although we cannot control our feelings, we can learn to manage them. The first step is to identify what we feel ; then accept the emotion without judging ourselves; and finally, in a synthesized way, facing it by adapting personal and social circumstances”.
For this, he recommends communicating a lot, talking about how we feel, sharing opinions, emotions and feelings to feel closer to each other. . “The main way to be able to go beyond the current barriers will be by reformulating what it meant for each of us to relate as we knew it a year ago. We have to give a new concept to the celebration, to knowing and also, for the moment, to traveling”.
There are other antidotes that can also work. One of them is given to us by the owner of the DreamSea surf camp, Daniel Oliver Taño. “Without a doubt the best antidote to overcoming social anxiety is to truly understand that after the storm comes the calm and start to have faith and dream that we will have our summer and that things will return to normal”.
Without forgetting above all the ** sport **, basic to keep us healthy, in addition to having a good immune system . “Sport, Nature and social life in the open air. Couldn't ask for more!"