Mosuo women organize household finances
There is a remote place, in the mountains of yunnan , in which women rule. Its goddess, Gemu, is a female, and each of its component households is divided into male and female areas -the latter being the most distinguished-. It is the territory of mosuo , and it has existed for millennia immersed in China, a country where, even today, there are those who consider having a son a blessing and a daughter quite the opposite.
There, in this matrilineal society, ventured the Singaporean choo waihong having left her absorbing job as an international lawyer. Her goal was to travel through China in search of her ancestors, but she was soon drawn to the idea of that place where women, it was said, had all the power. With the idea of seeing with her own eyes what seemed to him almost a kingdom of legend, Waihong crossed a mountain road for seven hours until he saw how she opened up to him. the unspoiled beauty of the Mosuo land.
She was so fascinated with the place that, in a short time, she built a traditional-style home in it, with its large ornately decorated main room dedicated to the head of the family. It stands before Lake Lugu and overlooks Gemu, the goddess who makes everything possible, "personified" in a mountain in the shape of a woman.
Today, after a decade living in it, Waihong is the only non-Mosuo person who thoroughly knows the customs of this people of tall, strong men, which seems to have its roots in the vikings that reached Asia. In ** The tribe of women ** (Peninsula, 2019) she tells of her extraordinary way of life.
the lugu lake
WHAT IS IT LIKE TO BE A MOSUO WOMAN?
“A Mosuo girl is born free from cultural and social restrictions to enjoy, laugh, lead, work and love. She has no need to struggle for empowering herself, because she has power since she is born,” writes Waihong. Thus, when a Mosuo girl reaches the 13 years , she performs a ritual that inaugurates her adult life; thereafter, she will get a own room in her mother's house and she will be granted absolute freedom to live and to love in her.
In that house, she will live forever together with her mother and her relatives on her side (brothers, cousins, uncles and grandmother). “She is free to practice the Mosuo way of love life, characterized by walking marriage , and choose her axias without having to marry any of them, move into her house, or start a family of their own with him. As she gets older, she will be encouraged to have children to add to the matrilineal family. Any child born from her womb will belong only to this family, ”clarifies the author.
In this way, in the Mosuo way of life, marriage is not what forms the backbone of families, since it simply does not exist. The word axia, in fact, designates lovers at the very moment of being lovers, that is, during their encounters -normally, at night and in secret, since relationships of this type are not boasted about, and always in her house- . In the morning, when the axia leaves, she has no duty to the woman with whom he has been during the night, nor she with him.
That is why, as Waihong explains, children belong to the matrilineal family: the role of the father does not exist, and many mosuo do not even know what man has sired them . Uncles, grandparents and older brothers make up the paternal role that we are accustomed to in our patriarchal society, to the point that it is not uncommon to see these men carrying out typical feminine tasks, such as feeding, rocking or changing diapers, without any kind of support. blush.
For all these reasons, the quality most valued by a Mosuo mother in a daughter is her intelligence Well, when the time comes, it will be the girl who takes the reins of the home and becomes the head of the family, managing everything from daily tasks and big decisions to the economy of the house.
At age 13, Mosuo women - here dressed in traditional clothing - are given a room of their own
WHAT IS IT LIKE TO BE A MOSUO MAN?
A Mosuo man is expected to cooperate with his physical strength in the manual tasks of the family farm and continue living with her maternal family forever. He, too, is free to form a relationship with as many axias as he wants, but without ever taking her home; on very few occasions, and rather due to casual circumstances, a couple goes to live together; still, they are not considered a marriage nor should they keep fidelity.
"Because of the circumstances of the formation of the Mosuo matrilineal family, in which the 'water carrier' is not a member of the nucleus and therefore does not contribute to its well-being, a Mosuo does not care about the size of your wallet ”, the author writes, referring to the Mosuo man as a sperm “donor” with ‘aguador’.
“Whether she has a fast car, a huge mansion or acres of land doesn't matter in a woman's order of priorities. It is irrelevant whether she is a responsible person or not. ”, she continues. The criteria that they usually use to notice them in this society, then, are based above all on the physical appearance -"must be, above all, graceful and corpulent"-, and it is also important that it be funny and have a sense of humor -"if only to make the time spent with him more pleasant"-.
For all these reasons, the Mosuo men, according to Wayhong, do not miss an opportunity to strut in front of women, exhibiting both gestures and postures that make them seem more macho as clothing and jewelry flashy. They also do not miss the opportunity to go out on the track of dance to demonstrate their skills, because in their society, singing and dancing are very important. And it doesn't matter if the dance is only between men, something that shocked the former lawyer a lot, to the point that she asked them if there was such a thing in her society. homosexuality . They thought it was a joke.
In addition to dancing, “in between one heavy job and another, Mosuo men are encouraged to take their leisure time. In fact, they spend a lot of time outside, doing what the males do when they want to have a good time. His idea of fun is hanging out with the boys, eating, drinking, fighting drunk ”, says the Singaporean. Another of her favorite hobbies is going out hunting, more the fact itself than returning with a game.
Men are encouraged to have a good time
ABOUT LOVE AND DESIRE MOSUO
“A Mosuo woman is not afraid to express her desire. There are no rules that require her to behave shy or hold back on a date. There is no shame in being blatantly direct. Since she is not subjected to any social opprobrium, she will let her heart express itself directly through the uninhibited gaze on her object(s) of desire of hers,” she writes Wayhong.
In this way, flirting can be as simple as giving each other a look, and saying: "Tonight, what time?" Definitely, " no one is expected to spend time and effort seducing. There are no required three dinner dates or a formal marriage proposal before turning someone into an axia."
A) Yes, a woman who has several sexual partners is not reprimanded, but she is applauded , and the same happens in the case of men. In addition, there are no rules regarding the ages of those who have relationships, and encounters of all kinds can occur. “Personally, I have come to accept that walking marriage makes logical sense, since puts human sexuality in the right place of our life”, reflects Wayhong.
“I believe that sex is a human condition with a thousand variations of expression that cannot, and should not, be confined to the narrow space assigned to it in most societies. I am unable to support the fallacy that sex should be limited to one partner throughout life. Without a doubt, I reject the corset imposed by the prescription that husband and wife must obey a commitment of fidelity and exclusivity for life. And, without a doubt, I repudiate the false paternalistic notion that women are monogamous and men are polygamous. If we are honest with ourselves as human beings, deep down we know that, in reality, there is no person capable of satisfying all our needs. For me, the Mosuo are right to extol sex as a happy and natural requirement and place it in its proper place as an addition to family life.”
The whole society shares the rite in honor of the goddess Gemu
ON EQUALITY IN MOSUO SOCIETY
“That is not what the Mosuo think, that women are superior to men. Unlike the Chinese, the Mosuo, more egalitarian, despite the fact that they appreciate the girls who are born in their families because they ensure the continuation of the maternal lineage, they do not relegate men to an inferior position. Boys who grow up to be men are not looked down upon. Like them, they also have a place in which to develop”, explains the author.
Thus, according to Wayhong, "regardless of matriarchy, Mosuo women have devised a world based more on gender equality than in the superior-inferior model adopted by traditional Chinese culture ”. To affirm such a thing, it is based on the fact that, in their social interactions, they see much more balanced power structures than in a patriarchal scenario.
"Apparently, everyone is treated more or less equally : women to men, women to women, men to women, men to men, old to young. At Jizuo's home she had often seen Grandma strike up a conversation with her grandchildren as if they were adults, not babies, and patiently wait for her answers. In more instances than I can count, he had assumed that someone who had a casual conversation with Zhaxi was her friend or business associate because of the respectful and impartial way he treated that someone. It turned out that the person was Zhaxi's employee. This is in contrast to a Chinese boss, who would make it clear from his speech and his manner that he was speaking to an employee as if they were inferior”.
Mosuo men and women share many tasks
THE THREAT OF THE 21ST CENTURY
The Mosuo way of life is changing rapidly in recent years, according to Wayhong in the chapter 'On the brink of extinction'. “With modern times comes modern alternative ways of looking at life. The Mosuo can no longer isolate themselves from these new ideas that penetrate through schools, television, smartphones and the increasing contact with tourists from the outside world. With modernization, the ancient isolated way of life of the Kingdom of Women is seriously endangered by the prevailing patriarchal culture of the Chinese. In the process, the Mosuo are losing the strength to keep their ancestral matrilineal roots safe.”
Thus, the author recounts how there are now Mosuo who take a dim view of the multiple couples that walk marriage encourages and begin to marry in traditionally patriarchal unions, giving the man a role of father that he has never had, promoting values such as fidelity as a couple and even celebrating children's birthdays, something that had never been done before either.
Besides, the wild opening to tourism in recent years by the Chinese government - that mountain road is already a freeway multi-lane highway that has cut travel time by two hours - locals are enriching quickly thanks to the rental and sale of their land to hoteliers.
“With money to spare and more free time than ever, former farmers are always looking for fun,” writes Wayhong. “ The Mosuo have taken to alcohol, drugs and gambling in a big way. Many of my friends now sit at mahjong tables or play cards to waste time…and money. More and more kids I know are experimenting with hard drugs like opium and heroin. There are a few in jail for trafficking.”
Faced with this discouraging panorama, the author, however, harbors a small hope: “I suspect that no one can predict how long the Mosuo will resist in these times of change. But it comforts me to think that the last thing that will survive will be the fundamental belief in the matrilineal principle. They may give in on more minor aspects like traditional attire, birthdays, marriage, nuclear family units, and divorce, but I daresay the thread that will last, the last thing to go, will be their maternal bloodlines."
Traditional ways of life are already in danger of extinction