On vacation everything is cooler, even love
SUMMER = MORE INTENSITY
Well, we most likely feel as if we went back to our adolescent stage , when our only vital objective was to see the loved one, touch the loved one, talk to the loved one and put into practice many other verbs with the same addressee . The reason? It is explained to us by ** Jaime Burque ,** a specialized psychologist, among other things, in couple therapy.
"Summer love affairs are so intense because, during this time, very strong routines are broken that we keep for the rest of the year. By so radically changing a routine, everything becomes more intense, newer, more attractive , and that causes romances to arise with more often. Furthermore, to all this we have to add a more receptive attitude , a more open mind and a greater positive emotional balance due to the arrival of the good weather and the holidays".
In short: a Molotov cocktail that can do that not only we add to our sexual hormones in a practically post-pubertal state... Also to our brain, which will probably start to become addicted to drama That's why in summer, like in that infamous house, everything is magnified. Again: what to do so that this feeling, caused above all by the imminent autumnal parting , do not invade us? " Present, present and present ", answers Burque. As the phrase says, the past no longer exists, the future is a mystery but today is a gift, that's why we call it the present".
The sun, the long days, the free time... Everything conspires to make us go crazy with love
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN SUMMER ENDS?
Wise words, no doubt. of which our mind will pass olympically when the day of farewell approaches and the pilot lights up in obsessive mode , which will take care of flooding us with thoughts such as "He's leaving, my life is over", "I'll never find love again, I will die alone surrounded by cats ", "Goodbye, cruel world" and similar melodramatic derivatives. We go back to the oracle: How to cope with the dreaded separation ?
"Taking into account, from the beginning, that it is a stage that has e very likely to be something temporary. It is also very important to be aware that this inevitable separation entails a very natural and healthy loss process that will make us sad, discouraged or full of anguish, but always keeping in mind that cannot go on forever Burke begins.
"In the face of loss, we have to allow ourselves to be sad, but also continue our life and focus on everything that usually fills us up (friends, work, projects...) If this process of loss continues, you may have any emotional dependency or other problem on a psychological level that you should treat", explains the specialist. Come on, don't let it get out of hand : If you continue to stay in bed in October, worry. You saw how they ended great summer loves as Romeo and Juliet (That's why they took it so seriously, right?)
Missing is allowed, but don't let it get out of hand...
IS THERE A FUTURE, DOCTOR?
But let's rewind to the moment airport -or bus station, let's not get gorgeous -. Outside, sunset. Two people looking at each other with goofy faces and teary eyes , promising each other trips that they think they will be able to fulfill thanks to the low cost companies and the AVE tables , and that they can't imagine their WhatsApp conversation with nothing but hearts . But the reality is that everyone lives in a part of the world. Is there a future, doctor?
"It's very important let the relationship flow naturally, respecting the other and without putting ties or unrealistic demands. We can try to give it a try ( many couples have come out of these summer loves ), but having a realistic perspective of the relationship: it will only happen if the two people live fully the present and let it flow where it has to flow, without fear or insecurities Burke explains.
It is better to enjoy the moment than to embitter one's existence thinking about the separation
FIRE KEEP IT ON
Easy to say, hard to do. How many summer loves do we know that have survived whole days without a single languid message because the issuer is on a patronal party? Few, why lie? But is that jealousy is sadly overdeveloped in the 21st century -and we suppose that in the previous ones as well-. so let's make things easier: What if they both live in the same city? It should be easier to continue the idyll, right?
When the professional speaks: " Geographic proximity is a key factor. for relations to advance and consolidate, but we are not forced to force anything for that. Also , the return to daily routines may deflate that bubble idealized what a summer love consists of (with the beach, relaxation, parties...) If so, and the relationship does not progress, no need to worry : it means that he did not have a solid base (affinity, common project, trust) that would allow him to establish himself".
Have you taken note?: Good vibes, confidence and present. that's the recipe so that a summer love becomes a winter one, or, simply, so that the summer romance is engraved in our memory as a sweet second adolescence. An improved one, of course, because we already have a car, a house, a license to drink... and no acne!
Summer love after 20: amazing
Which Sandy and Danny