Would you go on a trip without your 'partner in crime'?
candlelight dinners while the dramatic song **Honeymoon** plays by Lana del Rey. Motorcycle rides through landscapes that will remain etched in your memory forever. Toast in front of the sea to celebrate that you have yet to live endless sunsets together.
A dream vacation where a paradisiacal destination and your spouse are enough to sustain that happiness that you already had in your suitcase, that is what it consists of one of the most anticipated parts of the beginning of the marriage: the Honeymoon .
If you are about to get married, this interests you...
Although this concept is no longer what it used to be, since, surely, when the time comes to swear eternal love to you, you will have already several romantic getaways together.
This may be the reason why the most revolutionary and independent travelers have begun to promote a movement called ** #solomoon **. But what is hidden under that hashtag that already gathers some 2,000 posts on Instagram ?
There are already many new trends that have given a twist to the idea of 'honeymoon', clear examples of this are the _ earlymoon _ -pre-wedding getaway- or the babymoon -travel as a couple before the birth of the first child-. But none of them is as demanding as the solomoon.
Although according to kiwi.com , the travel portal specialized in searching for flights and those who detected this trend, this concept refers to “newlyweds who choose to spend their honeymoon without a spouse”, solomooning It also refers to the act of traveling without company even if you have a partner.
It is undeniable that a vacation with your better half, apart from strengthening the relationship and enhance that feeling that unites you , is one of the traveling experiences more rewarding.
But it also brings its problems: “Where are we going?”, “ I prefer the sea to the mountains…” , “Have you already asked for days at work?”, "Just that week my mother has invited us to town to celebrate her birthday" and other dilemmas that usually end up in discussions.
Traveling as a couple can pose a risk to the relationship
So embarking on a journey alone can be the ideal solution for resolve disagreements and time discrepancies , as long as you both agree with this decision.
“I think it will help improve life as a couple if any of the two members really needs that moment of travel to be alone. It may be because you are a solo travel lover, because a unique travel opportunity arises, because you are passing through a stage of personal stress or even a couple crisis ”, explains the psychologist James Burque to Traveler.es.
In addition, after this wonderful solitary journey, you will return with new adventures to tell your partner , as well as with the desire to share with him or her those new experiences that the chosen destination has given you on a future carpool.
Despite all this, solomooning also has detractors. The most romantic and idealistic believe that it is a comfortable way to escape from your relationship when you are tired of living together, being a journey as a couple is the best remedy to solve any intimate problem.
Dedicate yourself a few days without your partner
so stated Helen Fisher -researcher at the Kinsey Institute- to Jana Brnakova -Kiwi.com blog writer- on the travel portal blog: "When couples take vacations together, they can develop three brain systems: romantic love, feelings of deep attachment, and sexual desire ".
“Traveling as a couple can provide us with a shared experience, intimacy, quality time for the relationship, get out of the flat routines of our day to day, as well as it helps us gain depth in the relationship ”, She tells for her part burque .
“Each couple is a world, with different circumstances and with more introverted members or, on the contrary, more social and active. That's why, the key is to reach consensus, give in and, above all, leave space for the other person to take care of your social life”, he concludes.
REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD TRAVEL WITHOUT YOUR PARTNER AT LEAST ONCE IN YOUR LIFE
Whether you are one of those who oppose the solomooning as if you are already planning that honeymoon for yourself, these are some of the advantages that will end up convincing you to ** travel alone or alone **:
1. Break the routine. For those who can no longer conceive of a plan without their partner in crime, it is the perfect opportunity to see again beyond shared life. A getaway without your partner it is beneficial both for her -to whom you will leave space during your absence- and for you.
Together or apart, but... break the routine!
You will be forced to go to a restaurant, visit a museum or, simply, get lost in the city on your own, what it will remind you of your autonomy. Of course, for this decision not to be a source of conflict, it must have been previously agreed upon.
“In consultation, I have seen examples in which a trip of this type has helped to oxygenate and improve the courtship, since I was in a very difficult point. But I have also seen how it has been the lace to finish off with the relationship Burque warns.
"There are times when a trip as a couple can bring out all the problems in the relationship (that were hidden under daily routines) and cause a crisis," she says.
two. Find yourself. Do you remember what you liked to do when you were part of the singles club? Well, it's time to rediscover things as banal as what music do you like to listen to while walking down the street even more transcendental issues such as What is your greatest motivation in life?
"A lonely escape can you help us gain insight , to reflect on our paths, to gain perspective and to know our vital priorities”, Burke explains.
A trip alone is a good time to find yourself
3. Take advantage of your vacations even if they do not coincide with those of your better half. Sometimes balancing dates becomes a real headache. And for not leaving your better half 'alone', you both end up wasting your rest days in your place of residence.
Well, from now on, it may be a good idea that on these occasions, each one plans the vacation on their own and take the opportunity to disconnect for a few days. You will be able to survive that love at a temporary distance, we attest.
Four. Enjoy your hobbies (not shared). How to do surfing in somo , ** trekking in the Himalayas ** ** or international cycling routes **. You do not have to give up your hobbies because your partner does not practice them. That's what individual vacations are for!
5. Strengthen trust. If this is the first time you are going to practice the solomooning or any type of trip without your partner, will be the litmus test. If you get through it smoothly, the confidence will be stronger, as well as will help you overcome possible difficulties that may arise during your relationship , like the distance.
6. Pamper yourself in body and soul. Cultivating self-love is something we should practice more often.
For this reason, dear globetrotter, traveling the world alone is a great opportunity to dedicate more time to yourself: get up without alarm, give yourself a massage , read for hours in a coffee shop, walk aimlessly or spend as much time as you need in the hotel bed.
Do all those activities that your better half is not convinced
Do as you please. As the popular saying goes: "To love others, you have to learn to love yourself."
7. Choose where you want to go without having to convince anyone. You don't always have to agree on the pomp of love. In fact, opposite poles attract, right? So you are free to mark a You to London and I to California.
8. Meet new people. Whether in the hotel lobby, at the airport or eating in a restaurant -the probability that the people at the table next to you are from your city may be low, but it happens, listen to us-. No matter the context, but take it for granted that you will make new friends.
9. Feel completely free. Attention: it is allowed to disconnect the phone. It is not necessary that you be WhatsApping with your other half 24 hours a day.
“The level of contact we have with our partner depends on where the relationship is. If you are at a critical point, perhaps it would be good for us to reduce contact to disconnect and reflect on what we want ”, Jaime Burque tells us.
10. If you plan to have a baby in the short term, in the future, traveling on your own will be more complicated.
That said, do you dare to join the movement #solomoon ?
A solo getaway can help strengthen the relationship