Yes and what not to eat -and drink- to get out of trouble with dignity
And it is that, as Finesse affirms, “for many centuries, drinking was a daily, prosaic act: until the 20th century, humanity drank as a means of public health. From Goethe's Faust to Bach's cantatas to Schiller's poetry, every contribution to Western culture has been made through regular, daily consumption of alcohol. Alcohol as a bactericide and disinfectant as an everyday item. On the contrary, the 21st century is about alcohol either as a luxury or as an escapist drug: from the symbology of success to the binge drinking bottle of youth without a future. In between, alcohol as a civilization: as leisure, as culture, as a philosophy of life. What we claim”.
However, every war has its casualties as every lover keeps her daily panties in some drawer. Ah, c'est la vie. In our case (hopeless drinkers) the small print of the contract is called a hangover . Inevitably (because of cheap alcohol, nerves before a date or fucking posturing at a company dinner) we have to face that horrible, unfair thing (well, a little fair yes it is) and so provincial puberty called hangover.
Solutions? You can buy this beautiful book by Milton Crawford (visual acuity tests are essential), you can work on the El Comidista depurative breakfasts or you can print this (unnecessary) guide and stick it on the fridge next to the Telepizza magnet and vacations in Punta Cana Let's see what we can do:
Hangover, forever
1) NATURAL ORANGE JUICE The classic of the classics: ibuprofen and orange juice. Vitamin C and fructose help the liver to break down alcohol and the anti-inflammatory makes the parquet floor look (a little) like stable wood and not the deck of a sailboat with three dwarfs, two chickens and the ghost of Spartacus Santoni playing batucada .
2) BE A MAN
Or a woman, go. Being a man, not whining and having a drink (pun intended) in silence and keeping your composure as dignified as possible. That is, the Tom Hardy method, the Ava Gardner method, the Denzel Washington method or the Lara Croft method. Damn, you know what I mean: screw yourself.
**3) COFFEE (NEVER) WATER (ALWAYS) **
I know that the second damn thing (hi, Sasha) that I want most in the world after a hangover is a coffee “black as hell, hot as hell, pure as an angel and sweet as love” (Tayllerand) . What am I saying one, a hundred, a thousand warm coffees and curled up on the sofa under the blanket, the cats and on TV _ Megaconstrucciones _ at full blast. But no, sorry. Caffeine will only make you more dehydrated and what you need now is just the opposite: liters of water.
4) DOCTOR BACTERIA
Let's turn to science, then. Malasañeros have adopted Resalim (pineapple, artichoke, blackcurrant and blueberry) for as long as I can remember, the nerdies have switched to Blowfish tablets and those addicted to those television jewels called Hombres y Mujeres y Viceversa or Gandia Shore choose to always carry in the glove compartment of the Toyota Celica the solution-cubata-boom: ** Killer Alcohol **. Its objective goes beyond alleviating a hangover: evading breathalyzer controls by reducing the level of alcohol in the blood. You see, Ylenia's mind, always a couple of steps ahead.
Choose your drink very carefully...
5)WHISKEY
You are a titan. A hero. A guy who is not for jokes or orange juice. Well, go ahead then: Coltrane, wide glass, a couple of ice cubes (H2O, remember), a Chester sofa, silent mobile (hangover and WhatsApp, bad combination) and a book whiskey. I recommend three: a smoked one (Lagavulin), a strong one (Talisker) and a delicate one (Cragganmore). Babes, second door on the left.
6) BLOODY MARY
One of my main remedies. For class, for awareness when you ask for it ("A bloody mary, please") and because the hell, it's damn good. The cocktail of airports and thirtysomethings was created by Fernand Petiot in the New York bar in Paris and it feels good (or so the National Headache Foundation says) thanks to the fact that tomato juice contains fructose and vitamin B6. Well okay.
7) BRUNCH
That is, share penance. Of course, never, never, never go to brunch with a hangover with someone who does not share our (unfortunate) state. We already have enough with ours to also suffer the advice of the runner on duty. Look, no.
In Madrid I recommend the Oliver café, in Barcelona Picnic and in Valencia the essential calamari and the perfect Dry Martini from the Aquarium. Of ten.
8) FROM LOST TO THE RIVER
Keep up the good work, call a friend, order another round. That is, the Dean Martin method: "Stay drunk." And if we talk tomorrow about the hangover.
Health.
Never go to brunch hungover with someone who doesn't share our (unfortunate) state