Things that you will only understand if you are from Madrid
BASIC MADRIDIAN IDIOSYNCRASY: USES AND CUSTOMS
1) The water in Madrid is the best tasting in the world and you will defend it to the last consequences, even in the springs of Solán de Cabras, Vichy Catalán or in the very sources of the Jordan River.
two) In no other corner of Spain the reeds are thrown better than here. More would be missing.
The best rods in Spain
3) Cats: the odds of finding someone with the four grandparents from Madrid is the same as getting some Olympics.
4) But what accent? In Madrid we don't have any accent.
5) As much as you try to avoid it, from time to time an "Eh what..." escapes you.
6) And also terms of dubious origin such as mallet, canteo, kely, teky, zero comma, madriletis, trunk and centroco. You are also capable of stringing together an indefinite number of sentences beginning with "it's a bit like" and then never adding a meaningful noun, adjective, or predicate.
7) But you wouldn't write Madriz even if they were pointing a gun at you.
8) You assume that the sky of Madrid is the most beautiful in the world , although you know that it is a hardly quantifiable merit.
The most beautiful sky in the world?
9) For you, the Bershka of Gran Vía will always be the Madrid Rock.
10) You are not very clear that Madrid has an anthem, but it does.
eleven) However, you sing hoarsely There is no beach here every time it rings in a bar.
12) You know that the school you went to is what truly marks your caste.
13) You have never seen the chimes in Puerta del Sol.
14) But you never miss the pre-grapes on December 30.
fifteen) At some point in your childhood you had the misfortune of being dressed as a chulapo.
MONUMENTS
16) You live half an hour from the Prado Museum, but you haven't visited it since you were in school.
17) In discussions about cathedral aesthetics with your Castilian friends, you have no choice but to keep quiet.
18) But this seems to you the most beautiful image in the world:
Callao and Madrid
URBAN WILDLIFE
19) You know these two people perfectly.
The Alcazar brothers
twenty) And you live in fear of the day they die.
twenty-one) You mourned the death of 'The Sheriff' of the Milky Way like your own grandfather.
22) Every time you pass through Puerta del Sol, you fear that Hello Kitty and SpongeBob will resurrect old feuds and come to blows.
23) You recognize the tourists because they are the only ones left at Kilometer 0.
Only tourists remain at Kilometer 0
SHOPPING
24) "Do not buy here, we sell very expensive" seems to you the best / worst commercial slogan of all time.
25) you know how to move around prized street dribbling the 'Buy Gold' as if you were Messi.
26) Hell on earth exists and it is the triangle formed by Callao / Sol / Ópera at Christmas.
27) You will never be grateful enough to your parents for taking you to Cortilandia every year.
28) Pink wigs in the Plaza Mayor at Christmas. Years will pass and you will continue to wonder why.
Wigs: why?
GASTRONOMY
29) You have never eaten chicken or ins and outs. You're not even quite sure what they're made of nor where to ask for them. You tried corns once, but they were from a can.
30) The same goes for the waffles.
31) And with the chocolate with churros from San Ginés.
32) Going to the Plaza Mayor to eat a squid sandwich seems like an eccentricity, and yet, when your friend from Tudela comes to visit you, it's the first thing you do.
33) you never knew right where did the caramelized onion come from.
3. 4) You have survived tapas as atrocious as the hard-boiled eggs at El Boñar de León.
35) You think it's an ignominy that people dare to call a dish without sausage "cooked".
36) "In Madrid you eat the freshest fish in Spain".
37) In your group of friends, byzantine discussions take place about whether the croquettes at Melo's, Casa Labra's or Casa Julio's are better.
38) Despite the fritanga and the lumpen, you mourned the disappearance of La Pepita, El Corripio or the Mini Bar on Hortaleza street.
Long live Madrid
MADRID THE NIGHT
39) You've spent half the hours of your life waiting at the Tribunal subway exit.
40) And many others in the tail of the Wurlitzer.
41) "The Offering, rock until 6:00".
42) North of Rascafría, nobody understands you when you ask for a "mini" instead of a "katxi" (or cachi)
43) You have seen the Chinese from Gran Vía take cans of Mahou celvesa and noodles from sewers, rubbish bins, cardboard boxes and other unexpected places.
44) You can recite at least five different names that the Nasti has had throughout its history.
Four. Five) You've been complaining for five years that the Madrid night is terrible, but inevitably you still manage to get home at 7 in the morning every weekend.
46) A hangover is best experienced in company. And, if possible, with a Rastro session and a few beers at La Latina.
Hangovers in La Latina
TRANSPORTATION
47) If you were born in the 80s (or before) you got to know these subway cars. You don't know it yet, but you lost 10 percent of your hearing traveling inside it.
48) You know how to move to avoid slopes steeper than 30 degrees.
49) You look at the brave who dare to ride a bike with a mixture of admiration, envy and indifference.
fifty) What really sets you apart from your friends outside of Madrid is that you know how to get everywhere by bus.
51) Until the crisis came, you boasted of having one of the best subways in the world.
52) Getting around in the Tokyo subway is a mess that you don't see. And yet, there is nothing worse in the world than the transfer of Diego de León.
The subway in troubled times
MADRILENIANS AROUND THE WORLD
53) When you travel abroad you say "well in Spain..." when in reality you mean "in Madrid".
54) When you travel to the beach, you call the sand "earth."
55) And you talk about La Pedriza as if it were Yellowstone.
56) You have more than accepted the aesthetic superiority of Barcelona, but every time you travel abroad, you become hoarse trying to explain to anyone who wants to listen that "Barcelona is more beautiful but Madrid is funnier" and that it is a city "where everyone is welcome".
57) Because in Madrid everyone is welcome, your friend from Teruel knows the city better than you.
*** And a plus, on 58:** you know you're from Madrid when you suffer a small earthquake and you run to tweet it (after the seismic movement on February 23 and subsequent BOOM on Twitter)
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*This article was published on May 13, 2014 and updated, with video, on April 28, 2017.
There is no beach here