How about we leave the camera for a little while?
This "illness", aggravated by our continuous exposure to social networks, also has another side: that of feeling that, in general, we are not being happy enough, we're not squeezing life "to the fullest", as we are warned from the canopies and the TV . "You have to travel, you have to ** like traveling a lot ;** you have to have amazing experiences ; you have to take incredible photos of incredible places; you have to have many hobbies; you have to make the most of your vacation and make them super special; you have to to go out with your friends as if there was no tomorrow; you have to do the Santiago's road (and the Interrail, and go around the world and whatever it takes) ; you have to go to all concerts ; You have to prove all the restaurants on the planet; you have to see all **the fashion series**; you have to have a million super important experiences before turning 40 and two million before dying ...", enumerates the psychologist James Burque .
And yes, we sing the blame me, because it is true that our mission is to encourage you to experience the most extraordinary experiences that they exist However, we intend to be just inspiration , no obligation, but it is true that, in some way, we contribute to the spiral of rich and capitalist society , which dictates that be happy (and prove it) is practically a requirement . But if they shout it at us even mug messages !
"Live life and have awesome experiences It is something wonderful, we are not going to deny that, and less so I who defend travel as therapy . The problem is to turn these beautiful goals into rigid and compulsory causing the opposite effect to the desired one. The consequences of this distorted vision are seen more and more every day in our psychology practice, where we find that many people are bitter about not "living life", stressed, high vital frustrations , excessively boring, with terrible crises at 30, 40 or 50 for not "enjoying" their existence, or with a pathological inability to live in the present , even though they are reaching the top of Everest," argues Burque.
You have arrived, enjoy!
OUR OBSESSIVE NEED TO GATHER EXPERIENCES... AND SHARE THEM
Because it doesn't happen to you? you arrive at another country, after a zillion hours on the plane, and no matter how tired you are, you don't even consider resting in the hotel: you only have a week and you want to take advantage of every minute of the trip doing amazing things. In fact, you have a list of every place you should see, every food you should try, every experience you should have. " You can't leave Japan without doing blah, blah, blah", your friends have told you over and over again, each one enumerating a different experience. And to see how you come home saying no, that you have not done any of that.
That is probably the reason why There is ALWAYS a queue at the Eiffel Tower or that it is practically impossible to approach the Fontana di Trevi. They are things that Must see, not doing it is almost like not having gone to Paris, or to Rome. But is it really so? Really our experience of a place would be incomplete without waiting the two hours that separate us from the top of a monument? Do you really have to be all the time up and down like a headless chicken, visiting every neighborhood in the city and returning home more tired than when we left?
The answer is clear: no. a trip is staff, and its interest lies precisely in this, in that it is a own and different experience. But, it would be worth us to see the video of a place to know it , but it turns out that what provokes this type of images in us is want to go ourselves, to smell the environment, to find our own way among the people. So a trip does not have to be traced to another . But, curiously, if, for example, we go to Instagram and write " #Marrakesh ", millions of photos will appear taken practically in the same place.
A selfie in every corner
"If great livers of experiences like Ernest Hemingway or travel story writers like Rudyard Kipling they had to analyze today's culture, they would raise their hands to their heads. Even Indiana Jones I wouldn't know where to go. I think everyone would agree on something: the current inability to live in the present . So much superficiality obsessive collecting, obligations and even approval seeking causes many people do not live the present of your life and do not pay full attention to those experiences they're having," explains Burque.
It is clear: once you manage to reach the top of the Eiffel Tower, you are not silently entranced by the landscape; what you are doing Photos and sharing them on your profile (it seems that if the rest don't see them, your trip "not worth" both) , while you think about what you will do and Where will you go when the elevator drops you back down. "Social networks multiply this effect by a thousand by promoting compulsively share the great experiences we have. We focus on sunrise photo (while we miss the sunrise) because we want quick rewards, like automatic likes and admirations from others. With all these ingredients, we will only be able to reach be compulsive collectors of experiences as if they were one-cent cans, without giving the value they have and with the greed to have more and more. no matter what let's parachute or that we go on a trip to Cochinchina that we will never fully experience or be happy; we will file it in our check list with one more number and full stop".
Obsessed with sharing the perfect photo since they were teenagers
Shouldn't we then decrease revolutions ? If it is not already on a day-to-day basis, perhaps the time to start doing it is precisely , the holidays, those that previously consisted of rest. The reason? "But you live in the moment, surely, don't be happy even if you have visited all the countries of the world , run a marathon or swim with dolphins. Perhaps the story of Siddhartha (the wonderful novel by Nobel Prize winner Herman Hesse) is the one that best reflects where we are today: like its protagonist, we believe that accumulate experiences is the key to happiness, when the true ingredient of it is neither more nor less than fully experience our present Burque concludes.
So the next time you travel, he takes a deep breath: there is time for everything , and everything you do and see will be enough. Focus on what you perceive let yourself go ; don't worry about what will happen next, or what others will think. It is difficult (even for us), but we are willing to try it: maybe we will become addicted to a way of traveling much more relaxed and, according to experts, also much happier.
Take a deep breath...