Types of BlaBlaCar drivers
The first time I used Blablacar I marked a thick line that I thought was impassable. Some basic guidelines: always go with girls, under 40, in a car with more than three stars –this means that it is safe and comfortable– and that they are at least experts or ambassadors –who have shared a car many times–.
Why so much limit? For the fear that your loved ones instill in you when you tell them that you are going to take a car driven by a stranger. All the human misfortunes that can happen to you go through the minds of your best friends. What if they kidnap you and throw you to the wolves in a forest in Lugo? What if they torture you and dismember you? What if they forget you at a gas station? What if the monster from Amstetten uses Blablacar and kidnaps you for 24 years? All the homicidal hypotheses run through their heads and they have no qualms about verbalizing them, usually two hours before you embark on the fateful adventure of carpooling.
When you confess to them that you have already traveled on Blablacar about five times, They look at you like you're Chuck Norris . The problem comes when you think you're Chuck Norris. That thick impassable line that you had marked begins to blur. And you suffer from partial amnesia, forgetting all limits and throwing yourself into the void. Twenty trips later, nobody sends you , you are on fire. You begin to know yourself and you discover yourself as a tolerant person who supports any type of person, specifically, to the following:
And what kind of co-pilot are you?
1. THE BROTHER-IN-LAW
Car: a Golf GTI 170 hp second hand , described on the Blablacar page as “Luxury car. Two coffee stops. There is no lack of pine air freshener or an Elvis that he bought in Torremolinos hanging from the mirror. Of course this Golf GTI, which he affectionately nicknames golfito, was a bargain with 1,500 km. He just had to go to Germany to look for it. And he still thinks he drives on German roads because 180 km/h is your cruising speed and it never goes below 130.
Music: get ready for a selection of the greatest summer hits since 96 , all the Caribe Mix you can imagine. 'La mayonnaise', 'La bomba', 'La gasoline', Sonia and Selena, 'Ai se eu te pego' and of course, this year's hit: ** 'El taxi' .**
Conversation: carpool for two reasons. To pay the fines and for the sheer pleasure of showing off all his brother-in-law wisdom to the passengers , whom he calls blablaqueros. During the journey, he gave his opinion on the situation of women in Afghanistan, the conflict between Palestine and Israel, the Charlie Hebdo attack, the Casillas march and the 'Da Vinci Code. Always stops at the same roadside bar , where they greet him by his name and serve him a cut and a tortilla skewer without looking.
two. THE COUPLE
Car: if Ikea sold cars, they would have bought it there. Failing that, they have a Mégane.
Music: Random. A bit of Taylor Swift, another bit of Bruno Mars, the last of Melendi, Calvin Harris, Avicii, Enrique Iglesias and Rihanna. Basically they have a radio and specifically the 40 Main.
Conversation: scarce because they talk among themselves. The good thing is that when you want to lower the air conditioning there will always be one of the two that supports you (arousing the hatred of the other), when you want to read you can immerse yourself in the latest Ken Follet and, if you are far-sighted and have the last season of House of Cards on iPad, you'll have the best trip of your life. They will only interrupt you to ask you about your physiological needs.
Some discussion will also fall
3. THE SLOW
The car, the music and the conversation don't matter. A trip from Madrid-Badajoz lasting seven hours and two half-hour stops. A couple of turtles overtook you at the height of Talavera de la Reina . That is all. There is no antidote or vaccine. When it touches, it touches.
4.THE SHOWMAN
Car: a deep red Alfa Romeo.
Music: Madonna, Lady Gaga, Britney Spears, Kylie Minogue, Mariah Carey, Prince. Something is escaping you, you feel it.
Conversation: there is a cat in that car and you intend to discover it.
- You: "What do you do?"
- Driver: "During the week I'm a clerk but on Fridays and Saturdays I perform in a cross-dressing show in Chueca. Come see me! I'm the blonde who wears leopard print with pink platforms."
And that's not all. In the back seats are a screenwriter for The Prince and an opponent for the Treasury inspector. What are the chances that such diverse people will meet again in such a small space? 0.00003%? The world is like that, unbelievable.
5. THE CIVIL-POLICE-MILITARY GUARD
Car: a Seat Leon with a dashboard full of papers, some passport photo and a Coca-Cola.
Music: Cadena Dial, Kiss FM, Megastar...
Conversation: Birds of a feather flock together. Where there is a policeman-civil guard-military driver, there is always a passenger who also belongs to the state security forces . They reproduce very easily and travel with much more... but the reality is sadder. They are always destined for distant places and away from their beloved town of La Mancha and they always talk about it and their plans to ask for their beloved town as their destiny.
Whatever happens: take advantage of the trip
6. THE CLUNT
car: a renault clio that needs an urgent oil change and check the injection. It will pass all the gas stations near the highway and what is worse: the detour before reaching Burgos , so you will have to cross the city of El Cid as if you were going on an excursion.
Music: that too has been forgotten. Thank God there will always be the radio. Good radio!
Conversation: various grunts. When Blablacar changed its website, forcing payment by card, it included an option in which the driver was in charge of marking how many seats he offered. As well, he didn't see it . Result: offered 4 seats. A Madrid-Santander trip for five people in a Clio. You behind and always in the middle of two cabinets who could be professional rugby players. In August. Now is when you miss the brother-in-law.
7.THE ONE WHO HAS BROKEN UP WITH HIS PARTNER
Car: He has a Seat Ibiza that he is still paying in installments. His trunk is a grocery store from before It's practically like living in the car. Just at a glance you can identify a blanket, some trekking shoes, a diabolo, a beach towel and a sleeping bag.
Music: A loop of ballads including Guns N'Roses' 'November Rain', U2's 'With or without you' and Led Zeppelin's 'Stairway to heaven'. Yes, the one who listens to good music has touched you but be careful because he can play the brother-in-law version that he has broken up with his partner , with hits by Alex Ubago, Ella baila sola and Camela.
Conversation : at first he doesn't talk much, he seems shy, withdrawn and with a lot of inner world , but when he crosses the border of the three-hour trip, the first symptoms begin to emerge:
-Him: Well, I'm not from Vigo, although I used to go there a lot... It's because my girlfriend lives there... Well, actually she's not my girlfriend anymore.
- You: So why are you going to Vigo? To drink coffee liquor and have a seafood platter?
- Him: - No...I'm going to pick up my things
- You: Do you know that Seur or MRW exists?
- Him: Yes, yes...but I want to see the face of that z**** who has cheated on me. Nowadays you can't trust anyone anymore, if you already knew, yes... that little friend of his with whom he went running was not to be trusted. Damn running!_ - You: Well from now on you're going to save 600 km and hundreds of euros every two weekends, cheer up man... You sigh, you whistle, you see the other two passengers sleeping with their mouths open and you curse yourself for your inability to fall asleep.
8. THE SOLIDARITY
Car: a Volkswagen van with seat covers and a Talleres Manolo sticker on the back.
Music: Serrat, Sabina, Aute, Ana Belén and Victor Manuel.
Conversation: He is 46 years old, his name is Paco and he tells you that he started as a driver at Blablacar when he realized that young people with the crisis had many difficulties moving around Spain. Alsa and Monbús did nothing. And he took responsibility . He makes the trips very cheap, the minimum that the application allows him, because the company pays for his gasoline and what moves him to do this is solidarity, solidarity towards Spanish youth. You start to suspect, you knew that Madrid-Barcelona for 16 euros was not normal.
9.THE PERFECT
Car: an Audi Sportback that always beats the GPS time by an hour. Makes a stop right in the middle of the road with a perfect duration to have a coffee, go to the toilet and eat something quick –15 min–. And he always picks you up where it suits you best and leaves you at home.
Music: a careful list of Spotify where Anthony and The Johnsons, Florence + The Machine, Franz Ferdinand, Coldplay, Daft Punk, R.E.M, Arcade Fire, Kings of Leon...
Conversation: It doesn't matter what you talk about. It is fast, safe and comfortable. He allows smoking but his car doesn't stink, he lends you a cushion to take a snooze and he gives recommendations of where to eat a good cachopo. You will keep your phone forever. This is a long-term journey that will turn into a lasting friendship.
The perfect driver MUST HAVE A DOG
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