Crisis of the 30: get married or continue traveling?
It is midnight and your partner is on his back in bed while you imagine that You run free through the jungle. Maybe in **Samoa**. Or maybe in **Indonesia**. You also imagine yourself in Africa helping to build a well, teaching Spanish to a child from Hong Kong, or working from a palm hut with your computer. The problem? That these secret fantasies should not be, in principle, the objectives of the established order to which you are destined. Especially if you're in your thirties.
They say that at 20 you do what you want, but not what you should. That this is best saved for about 30 while we'll be doing our dream job, painting a new (and recently mortgaged) house burgundy with our significant other, or even thinking of having children.
However, the new generations, especially many of the so-called millennials, have decided to move through other fields. The hangover from an economic crisis that forced ** many of us to emigrate **, the influence of social networks that sometimes encourage idealized situations , or the desire to collect more experiences than material goods they condition new ways of life that are there, throbbing in our conscience.
To this should be added the ease that these times offer to anyone who wants to leave behind a job and pick up the backpack to work around the world. In fact, it is estimated that by 2030, 50% of the active population will work freelance , a modality that separates us more from the ritual of going to the office and following a specific schedule in pursuit of greater freedom.
New stimuli that encourage the increasingly common 30's crisis " either "Quarter Century Crisis" , somewhat earlier, in which we reconsider whether imitating the stability of our parents is compatible with living adventures beyond our comfort zone.
Or both...
THE OBSESSION TO EXPERIENCE
Have you also reconsidered this situation? Don't worry, the open dilemma between a stable life or continuing to travel when we approach 30, or any other age, is not new. In fact, It is much more common than you think.
"Vital crises usually happen at symbolic moments like the thirties," says the psychologist James Burque . “Especially at that age there is wear and tear after being aware that our working life is not what we expected or that we are not happy with our partner”.
In turn, the goals of each person they are nourished by what we are, by our values, being able to focus them both on stability and on travel or another activity: “Especially in the First World we have postponed the concept of stability due to a change in attitude that prioritizes enjoyment and the wish collecting obsession ”.
This new trend in turn provokes the appearance of more styles of affective relationships , learning that if we are happy we will be able to be in any type of relationship.
Leave it all? Or only half?
LEAVE IT ALL ? OR ONLY HALF?
In today's world there are as many types of people as there are unions, always depending on maturity when facing a change being in a couple. This is the case of Isabel, international advisor in Bangkok thanks to an ICEX scholarship who, despite being happily married, decided treat yourself to a year working on the Asian continent when you turn 30.
"I got married at 25 with my boyfriend and at 28 I already had a settled life, a stable job and a good economic position," Isabel tells us. "Nevertheless, I was missing something. I believe that we spent the 20 in a fight for living up to the expectations that others have of us and we do not stop to consider if that's what we want to do with our life ”. After being sent to Thailand, Isabel took advantage of this year to fulfill her greatest dream: travel the world.
“I see my friends, their economic stability and their houses and I wonder what my life could have been. But if I think about it better, they have children and tomorrow I will be diving on the beaches of Sumatra”. To which she adds that **living a personal experience should be totally compatible with having a partner**: “When you see your partner developing a professional and personal project that makes them happy, our role is to help and motivate them” .
Just as the option of carrying out a vital experience while engaged can be considered, another increasingly widespread trend is that of ** traveling with your partner ,** either working remotely or, especially, through a travel blog like ** Backpacking around the world **, led by Lety and Rober. A couple who during a trip to Thailand in 2010 discovered that working around the planet was his great passion . "During the first years of the blog we traveled with the savings but, later, after long hours of work in front of the computer, we managed to travel 100% thanks to our blog."
A situation that also leads us to ask ourselves if travel, live and work with your partner 24 hours a day is just as compatible: "If you are lucky enough to travel with someone who compensates for your weak points, you have succeeded," adds Lety, along with a smiling emoji.
Miles and miles of new adventures that also reserve that certain "homesickness" for stable life : “Of course, we also miss many things from ‘normal’ life, from family or friends even the simple fact of going out to buy bread in your neighborhood or sleeping in the same bed more than five days in a row”.
WHAT IF YOUR STABILITY AWAITS YOU IN ANOTHER PLACE?
Although the "instagrammer" or "Mr. Wonderful" Although it may seem like a solitary life project among the stupas of Myanmar or working from Bali, many also agree on the **need to settle in a stable way of life at the end of the wanderlust horizon**.
“Until the agricultural revolution, the human being was a nomad. But after the creation of social groups, we began to develop an undeniable feeling of belonging ”, continues the psychologist Jaime Burque.
'Explore, dream, discover'
Something that leads us to think if that grand tour can stretch like bubble gum to eternity , or if it's just a hiatus to reconnect with ourselves before laying the egg somewhere else.
“I decided to leave my job in Madrid and travel the world with my travel blog,” says **Desiré Huerga, creator of the Con P de Pasaporte blog, ** focused on female empowerment through different digital media. “However, when I landed in Oaxaca, I began to travel less than before and now I lead a stable life in a country that is not mine but in which I feel completely integrated. My priority and project at 30 years old is my blog. That's really my first child ”.
New technologies, globalization or crises that have hit the world's economies have contributed to new lifestyles whose nuances swarm, today more than ever, between two extremes as far apart as get married or travel without a return date.
Because, whether or not there is stability at the end of the road, of that crisis of the 30s, 40s or 50s, the undervalued obligation to fulfill our dreams should always prevail. Or, as Mark Twain once said: “Twenty years from now you'll probably be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than the ones you did . So cast off your moorings and leave the safe harbor. Catch the wind in your sails. Explore. Sounds. Discover ”.
'Explore, dream, discover'