Zaragoza, Comanche territory
We guarantee that there will be times when you want to give up, when smoke will come out of your ears and you will want to throw it from the top of one of the Pilar towers. But if you manage to be more stubborn than them, you will have won them forever. And we assure you that it will be worth it. Welcome to the fascinating and complex world of the 'festejo' maño.
BASIC NOTIONS
There are three fundamental things you should know before starting the approach:
- Your land is sacred. Zaragoza is not touched, the Virgen del Pilar is not touched, the Puerta del Carmen is not touched and, of course, the Ebro is not touched.
- The hands do not shout, it is their normal tone. It is said that they speak like this because their ancestors communicated from town to town by shouting.
- They are stubborn, stubborn, stubborn, call them what you want (not them of course). If they get something into their heads, don't try to change their minds, it's scientifically impossible. One of the most coveted assets of the hand is the reason (almost as much as the calm of the Bravo Squid).
The hands are not boyfriends, the hands 'celebrate'
Despite all of the above, the fame of good people precedes them . The hands are humble, very (but very) sincere and loyal.
Language
In addition to going deaf or deaf and having to agree with them, if you want to conquer a man, it is important to speak their language (or at least understand it). For this reason, we have compiled a series of fundamental words and expressions with which to get along perfectly in mañolandia.
- The hands do not wear sneakers, but maripis. They don't fall, they give themselves a tozolón. To take a shortcut, they have lunch; and if the rain catches them without an umbrella, they return home chipiaos. The hands do not argue, they litigate; and they like to spread and pimp (well, walk and gossip).
Regarding the topic of cleanliness, the hands do not use buckets or dustpans, but buckets and buckets, and they do not leave things clean, but rather well scratched. By the way, they don't sweep, they broom (more logical, right?). Oh, and they don't go to a place just for one reason, they go on their own. The most effusive say hello saying ¡Qué pasa co!
- The -ico. This rule is simple. It consists of ending all the words in -ico. The hands drink coffee, go for a walk, take a nap, and they are very magical.
Cahirulos, cobblestones and more, in the gift shop 'El Mañico'
- the fuck Taco characteristic of the entire autonomous community of Aragon to express surprise or astonishment. It can be found written in various ways depending on the degree of intensity desired: jodo, jodoo, joodoo, joooooooodooooooo,...
- As for the intonation, the maña language does not understand esdrújulas. Rather he does not understand accentuation. Here reigns the free will to accentuate where everyone wants. Example: Zárágózá.
- Another important but very simple point: the Co. Monosyllable of unknown origin, some say that it is the apocope for boy, others say that it is related to male and female genitalia. In any case, the grammatical structure is simple: insert co every three words. Replace co with therefore and the same rule applies: it is used for everything and means absolutely nothing.
the famous tram
TO TAKE INTO ACCOUNT TO NOT PUT YOUR FOOT
There are certain topics to avoid if you don't want to get into shaky ground when chatting with your date tomorrow:
- Real Saragossa. When the team plays at home, the ritual of going to La Romareda is sacred, whether it rains, snows or hails; and of course, even if you lose. Because being a Zaragoza player implies suffering, being cold in the stands, hating Agapito and remembering Nayim's goal at the slightest opportunity.
- The tramway. Subject of debate where they exist. Yes, it is a metallic worm that crosses the center of the city and whose works kept the grandparents entertained for a long time. Don't even think about laughing at the stops of Mago de Oz or Los Olvidados (which is also one of the last of the line).
Special epigraph for some communities:
- If you are from Murcia: the Ebro is a taboo subject. Spot. The end.
- If you are Navarrese: Osasuna-Zaragoza is a megataboo theme (you know it very well, dear neighbors).
- If you are Catalan: you belonged to the Kingdom of Aragon, accept it or cross the strip again. It is also not convenient to mention San Jorge (because for the Maños San Jordi is a vile impostor). If you want to flirt with a bunch without leaving your domain, Salou is your destination.
HOW TO SURVIVE THE FIRST DATE IN ZARAGOZA
As Leo Harlem already pointed out, the cold is made in Zaragoza, the penguins roam freely around the Delicias station and crossing it from end to end can cost you pneumonia. You are warned.
To the cold we must add the quintessential inhabitant of the morning capital: EL CIERZO, with headquarters on the corner of Gran Vía and Paseo Sagasta. Zaragoza is known as the city of the wind, and it is not for less. Now, only the maños can complain about the north wind, so save your criticism of this light 'brisita', wrap up warm and fill your pockets so as not to fly away.
The Republican
At this point, here are a number of places where you can hit the spot with your date both day and night:
- For the hands of a lifetime: tapas through the tube. A little stop at Champi, some bravas at La Republicana and a little wine at Bodegas Almau. A hand with a full stomach is a happy hand.
- For the modern: the Las Armas market (food, drink, vintage furniture and clothing in a neighborhood adorned with graffiti and little plants) .
- For the cuqui-loving hands (which are not few): Café Nolasco, Doña Hipólita or Café Botánico are good options.
- For the most partying hands: start with a cocktail on one of the terraces of Paseo Constitución and if things go well, end up dancing in any club in 'La Zona' (clever name that you shouldn't mess with either).
- For the most nostalgic hands: take him to see the spectacle of the Plata.
- And for the most romantic: the sunset from the Puente de Piedra (recurring but effective) or a walk through the Parque Grande (unofficial name with which you should not make jokes either, logic prevails here).
LAST TIPS
- Once it has become clear that maños are stubborn by nature and do not like to be contradicted, it should be noted that there are exceptions (maños who like to argue, basically). If it is the case of your -hopefully- future conquest, you have it easy, think otherwise until you see that smoke begins to come out of his ears.
- Inquire about their musical tastes. For a good part of the population, Kase.O is god and Violadores del Verso is a religion. If you let go of one of his rhymes he will melt. (Applicable also to Bunbury and Heroes of Silence).
Be careful: don't ask them to sing you a jota ; The jotas are sung and danced by the joteros, although if you learn one you will make them laugh, and it is not easy to make a man laugh (one morning even less).
Easy and simple example to memorize: "The Ebro is silent, when passing through the Pilar, the Virgin is asleep, she does not want to wake her up". Rehearse it with the proper intonation tomorrow, that is why we have emphasized it in the first point.
- And lastly, and possibly most importantly: the Maños are simple, noble and honest people. They enjoy the small pleasures of life and good company. If love triumphs, congratulations, because you will become one of the luckiest people in the world. Even on some occasion your crush agrees with you! (just for a while) .