Don't mess with the calçot
1. Don't be Catalan
Catalans do not usually flirt with other Catalans . At least if we are adults living in a city where there are people from all over the world, we have no tendency to do so.
two. Don't tell him you don't like Catalans
Even if it's to tell you next “but you do” . Possibly that second phase no longer reaches our brains.
3. Don't speak fake Catalan
Removing the last letter from words in Spanish . We have already mentioned this before , but it is as unsexy as making pussy with a Galician about going up or down or the weather . It's not funny, and if you're not funny you're not going to flirt. Not even with a Catalan, that's how things are.
Four. Don't even make jokes about us being stingy
They place you directly in the 'brother-in-law' section , 'Cope listener', 'over 60 years'. They also have their market, but make sure it's the right audience or you're not going to eat a colín.
Don't speak fake Catalan
5. Are you ready for an intense cultural life?
At least until yours has culminated, it is possible that the Catalan-Catalan of your efforts will make an effort to take you to organ concerts in Santa María del Mar, exhibitions at the CCCB and routes through modernist Barcelona . If what you want is a party and a nap, let him know, that maybe he is having a worse time than you.
6. Learn a few words in Catalan
We have already done this work for you. No problem. In general, it is a wink that is appreciated (and I don't think it happens only with Catalan and Catalans, so this advice is useful for flirting in general).
7. But don't cover your face with your hands every time you speak Spanish as if we were going to hit you.
Catalans normally speak Spanish outside of privacy. Some even without an accent . Sometimes even more languages. And nothing happens. No one is going to look at you badly, or strangely, or find you less sad because you speak another language.
8. Show interest in Catalan culture
You don't need to brood over the biography of Pau Casals , the architecture of Gaudi or the complete works of Jacint Verdaguer . In fact if you do all that you can get a little scared. But if you like Manel, you've seen _ Truman _ by Cesc Gay and you give him a grade and go to the theater from time to time to see something by local playwrights, all the better.
9. But don't let yourself be overwhelmed
If 70% of your song list for couples are in Catalan and some are from groups you've never even heard of, let your Catalan of reference know with love and a certain firmness. And look for a consensus.
10. Eat everything, and with desire
After the culture phase, it is more than likely that you will go to lunch and dinner there. A lot and to very varied places: if you are flirting in a city like Barcelona, it is possible that in the morning it will be 'forquilla lunch', Japanese for lunch, that you have Greek snacks and Indian dinners. Cosmopolitan gobblers, that's what we are.
Are you going to eat: A LOT
eleven. Learn to drink from a porrón
Although this time you don't get it, it's a social skill that can come in handy on many occasions.
12. And to read between the lines
It seems that showing our feelings at first is not our thing , or so they say. Resolving situations in a flash after two glances and some sign language is not very popular around here.
Learn to drink from a porrón... but don't overdo it
13. Catalan in privacy
100% of those surveyed think that the Catalans we are much more passionate than we may seem before proceeding to shakata (which does not seem very difficult, considering that the results of my survey leave us between Margaret Thatcher and the lasagna section of La Sirena).
14. Under no circumstances do dirty talk in Catalan
Dirty talk loses all its essence in our language. Expressions like endinya-me-la or vols que te la xucli take away the illusion of ONCE and the erection of James Deen. Seriously: don't try.
No, nononono: no dirty talk in Catalan
fifteen. If it didn't work out, you're not going to be friends.
The practicality that characterizes us saves us from those “we don't work in bed but we'll be good friends” paripés, cumbersome silences and second dates in which the atmosphere can be cut with a knife. What a pity, huh?
16. You'll probably have a wild dive among your friends and family
It is done. You've already linked up, you've become intimate cuchicuchis and you feel like socializing again a little after the intensive two-body jiu-jitsu sessions. It is possible that your better half will introduce you to all his friends at once in a calçotada , or to your family on Grandma's birthday. We do these things like this, hot ass (but always with alcohol in between, to soften).
How to flirt with a Catalan
17. You are going to Cadaqués
And to have a snack or breakfast or have a coffee at the restaurant of Cap de Creus (you don't have to stay to eat, but those views are worth the walk). It is in the genome of the Catalan infatuation, and we neither can nor want to avoid it.
18. And to Cerdanya
The winter version of Cadaqués. If he loves you very much, he will cross the border and take you to buy cheese at Carrefour de Bourg-Madame, and on the way back he will stop to show you that place “where they sell cheap and great oysters, just over the bridge after the gas station” . Because sharing our places of reference is also love. Try not to think about how many people she has taken before, because you are going to have her for sure.
Cadaques
19. You are going to be audited by a grandmother
If your better half has a grandmother, she will subject you to a third degree and will say what she thinks of you as if you weren't there. If they do not open your mouth to look at your teeth, it is because they have been previously warned not to do so. But then she will feed you very well, and she will forget everything.
twenty. You are going to hear a lot of Catalan from now on
We don't do it to bother: when we get together it comes out. If we realize that you are not understanding us, We will apologize and change the language. At least for a while, until the inertia does its job again.
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