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What would you never do on a flight? What is our most unnerving custom? What is the difference between the food of the passengers and that of the crew? Are the blankets reused? Traveler asks and Lola, who works for a low-cost company, and Joao, on the payroll of a standard company, answer. Neither wants to reveal which airline they fly with, much less their real name. Suffice it to say that both are flight attendants, who reside in Spain and although their answers are not known, they are disturbingly similar.
The first place goes to something that you have surely done more than once: eat directly on the front seat tray: "If you're a scrupulous person, you better make sure there's something between the table and your sandwich. In short-haul lowcost companies only the tables are cleaned at night, so they can easily do four or eight flights without cleaning and people do whatever they can think of like for example changing diapers putting feet on, cutting or filing nails, etc. ", explains Lola. And she informs us, in addition, that "the blankets are reused but they are washed first, which does not mean that some hair appears that other that has been stuck ".
Following the path of the disgusting, Joao advises us not to take off our shoes. "If you knew what we see you would not: go to and from the bathroom barefoot, leave dirty diapers and wipes at the foot of the seat.. . In addition to a filth, taking off your shoes is not even allowed in certain phases of the flight for safety reasons (in case of emergency evacuation it is not a good idea to go barefoot, but it is a good idea to take off your heels). "In fact, the carpets of airplanes are mostly black, gray, or dark blue because stains (from body fluids or otherwise) are less visible.
Do you want them to hate you? "To most flight attendants, what bothers us most is the fact that we passed a bar service and, as soon as we finish, we pack up and get ready to do any of the other things assigned to us, they call us from the seat because now they really want a drink", explains Lola.
To neutralize tasteless food (although there are honorable exceptions). " we, or at least me, take food from home . My friends who drink coffee bring the thermos from home, since the drinking water tank (which I don't think is very clean, although this is a personal opinion) is emptied every night "Joao says.
The best possible seat? For Joao, "row 2 DEF, which is the first row on the right side (although it is the 2nd, it is the 1st) because you have no one in front of you and, therefore, legroom" . The worst? Lola has no doubt: "Anyone who is near the bathrooms because of the effluvia that are generated, the noise of the constant cistern and the queues that form since for much of the flight you have someone's ass up to your face if you're in the aisle."
Liam Neeson in a scene from the motion picture "Non-Stop." CREDIT: Myles Aronowitz, Universal Pictures [Via MerlinFTP Drop]
Like models, flight attendants are constantly asked for beauty secrets and against jetlag. Our deep throats confess that there are no secret recipes and that both they and their partners resort to the basics: liters of water, compression stockings... However, they do reveal a very uncomfortable truth: "For gases we always carry our own medication because it can happen to you at any time and it can be very painful," says Lola. And Joao concludes: "there is no nothing worse than aerophagia; If you ate vegetables the day before, your colleagues will want to dismember you".