Practicing 'kalsarikänni' with friends requires a lot, a lot of trust
"I've finished work for today." "Tomorrow I have to go to work". "Tomorrow I don't have to go to work." It doesn't matter: all three are perfectly valid excuses for getting a kalsarikänni. They are also that it is raining, that it is going to rain tomorrow, that it has been raining for a week.
Because, in reality, there is no need for a reason to achieve Finnish mindfulness, or what amounts to the same thing: to drinking alone at home in underwear.
Against the Danish concept of hygge, which is “like a Disney movie that leaves no room for hemorrhoids, runny tears of self-pity or suspicious spots in various places”, the Finnish kalsarikänni. Against the Swedish lagom, whose problem lies "in the emphasis on being a good person", because "a good person can never really relax, because he constantly assesses the ethical consequences of his decisions", "gayumbotajarse". “The kalsarikänni is real,” says Miska Rantanen, author of Kalsarikänni. The Finnish art of pimplar in gayumbos and find happiness (Zenith, 2018).
If it's hard for us to visualize the act of gayumbotajarse, here is a most plastic example: the mythical scene of Bridget Jones's diary in which Bridget gives it her all lip-syncing in her pajamas while she gets drunk on red wine. “The song All by myself, by Eric Carmen, performed by Jamie O’Neal, is playing and, friends, Jones gives it his all, even in the drum solos. Her performance is charming mix of pathos, self-pity, humor and bad habits ”, summarizes the author.
NECESSARY ELEMENTS TO CARRY OUT THE KALSARIKÄNNI
“The relaxing effect of gayumbotaja derives from simple elements: comfortable clothes, alcohol in reasonable quantities and something to do ”. Its effects, Rantanen argues, are similar to those of full consciousness. "But, while mindful spiritual awareness guides propose a varied series of breaths, gayumbotaja uses physical substances to take a shortcut and reach the same destination: absolute relaxation."
Thus, when stress “threatens to crush your lungs and leave you without oxygen, the kasarikänni takes what life offers you and refines it into quality time; allows you to recover emotionally, psychologically and physically ”.
The minimum necessary to benefit from its effects would be soft alcohol -beer or wine- and a closed space in which to be comfortable in comfortable underwear -better at home, but, according to the author, a hotel room is also worth it-. However, they are more than recommended. wool socks , for the feeling of home and comfort they provide; a good assortment of caloric snacks -"Think about sweets and things that crunch", recommends Rantanen-, and entertainment devices , which can include from a musical instrument to a yo-yo through a book.
However, it is advisable to have a tablet or mobile phone with a Wi-Fi connection at hand to play music and binge on series, as well as “search for cat videos, watch the best scenes of our favorite movies, explore entertainment pages to find information important, make purchases online (not everyone recommends it), participate in discussion forums (the use of a pseudonym is advised) or delve into any topic of personal interest”. By the way, if social networks are going to be used, Better Facebook than Twitter or Instagram , and better private messages than discussions on public walls.
Maybe tomorrow morning those messages won't seem so funny anymore...
Of course, the kalsarikänni can be carried out in company, but preferably with someone with whom we have much trust. After all, as Rantanen lists, the most suitable activities for gayumbotajaning may include "spontaneous bathing, belching, nose picking, do an air guitar concert, sing, masturbate slowly, farting, talking to himself or yelling with his face buried in the pillow.”
KALSARIKÄNNI, A VERY FINNISH CONCEPT
When, in 2015, the Ministry of Foreign Affairs launched a series of emojis in which the Finnish essence was summed up , included the sauna , the Nokia 3310, the h_eavy metal_… and the kalsarikänni. He did it through the icons of a man in his underpants sitting in an armchair drinking beer and a woman doing the same, but with a pajama top, panties and a glass of wine. The term kalsarikänni (from "kalsari", underwear, and "känni", state of intoxication), however, only wore a year collected in the dictionary from the Finnish Institute of Languages, but its origins in Finnish culture go much deeper.
“The psycho-spiritual roots of kalsarikänni are easily understood if you look out the window on a November day in Finland,” explains Rantanen. “It is completely dark and frozen, a stinging hail hits horizontally, the ground is covered with a crust of ice and half-melted snow, the streets are deserted and any human company requires a long and unpleasant walk. And this at noon, at the brightest moment of the day”
With this panorama, for many it is a feat to go out on the street...
The bleak panorama of a country whose winter season lasts "about nine and a half months" is, for the author, the reason that the kalsarikänni was invented in Finland ("How else could life be supported there?" , he wonders) and not anywhere else in the world. But there is more: the gayumbotaja was born as a way to balance another concept that defines the Finnish character: sisu , “or guts”, a term meaning tenacity or perseverance.
"Nevertheless, sisu has his dark face. No one has the energy to put out fires or chase customers 24 hours a day non-stop. When abused, sisu tends to burn those who naively believe the exaggerated stories of how previous generations heroically built a house, collected college degrees, and raised a brood of children while hunting wolves and pummeling the Red Army for years. the Winter War,” says Rantanen.
In the end, everything leads us to the same thing: there is nothing better to combat that powerful spirit of effort and progress that is properly Finnish, as well as the Weltschmerz -"that feeling of sadness and apathy that we experience when we understand that the real world has nothing to do with with which we imagine or desire", according to the author- like the kalsarikänni. "When the wrath of the world is unleashed, Scandinavians, peaceful by nature, know that there is not much one can do to change it. What you can do is focus on yourself, "he says. The answer is clear: Let's all gayumbotajararse! Maybe that's how we find, like the Finns, true happiness.
A night of gayumbotaja can perfectly end this way, and it's good that it does