Wristband vacations have their own modus operandi
suck to do sociology in an all inclusive . They are an alternately anesthetic and euphoric bubble that works with rules out of the universe at the end of which there is always **a bar.**
supposed to be there there are no obligations , but the buffet is experienced as a reverse religion in which you have to sin or you look bad with your conscience. This curious phenomenon is called "pay off the open bar".
An all-inclusive is ** a cruise on land.** Sometimes there is a port call, but the usual thing is stay aboard . The swell puts it the fifth Coco Loco . Of course, there are all-inclusives of various categories and, although the playful spirit is similar in all, guests of the five star They hide it better.
...and that's how you end up
Get in. It is almost mandatory to enter very tired. If you have chosen this modality for your vacations, it is because you have been dreaming of sleeping and doing nothing all year. On the second day of sleeping and doing nothing the variant drink and do nothing is usually accessed . But let's not anticipate events. Or yes, because you'll probably be greeted with a cocktail as you transition into Playful Liver Week.
In the room. You discover that you have a spacious room. The management itself will have taken care of the horror vacui with Flemish artists in warm colors and seats to set up a mini-cinema. If not, you can solve it by hand: pants on the lamp, a bag with the fruit of your looting on the floor, yourself diagonally across the bed deservedly killing the towel ducklings... The room also has a minibar with the one that you make sure you fall into soft when you drink the cup of falling.
Meals. All-inclusive doesn't strictly mean "eat as much as you can and then some more," but the general consensus is yes. The normal thing is to try a little of everything the first day and then eat pizza the rest . What seems exotic to you is normal here. For example, if you see tacos, ask if you are in Mexico, chances are you are. Perhaps what is less normal is how they are prepared, more or less as they would be in a Chinese restaurant in Matapozuelos.
Entering tired is mandatory
The pool. The pool sometimes has a bar with benches in the water. In case you were missing the bar two steps away. We anticipate that the hits here are the same as outside, but with an amount of chlorine proportional to your greater or lesser verticality.
The beach. The beach is a beach with all its things: the sand, the sun, the water, the children who cover you in sand at the stellar moment of the siesta... Only that deckchairs have sprouted and yes, another bar . These two elements properly combined make tanning much easier.
The animation . There is a clause that you did not read when hiring your vacation that forces you to be happy while your stay lasts. Or so they seem to tell you over the PA system. Being happy, here, has no other possible meaning than dancing. This works by contagion: you see some normally decent people who are wagging their tails because there is a song that says to wag your tail, and you go and wag your tail.
The pool bar, a perpetual party (or not)
The disco. It differs from the rest of the all-inclusive bars in that it is at night.
The trips. They are your chance to finally find out what country you were in. They are quite reliable and for once in a group tour the guide is not going to put you in his cousin's shop. And besides, he travels accompanied by the other all-inclusive clients and often to places where there are only all-inclusive clients. You will feel at home, at least until you discover that there is no bar or banana mamas with umbrellas there.
Coming home. You may spend a few days looking for the lever to adjust the position of your sofa, asking your family to refill your strawberry daiquiri, or wagging your tail out of the blue. It will pass you more or less when the tan starts to turn yellowish or when you feel an overwhelming urge to cry, whichever comes first.