It's going to happen to you. Inevitably.
1) The anxious: You start queuing at the gate when it's still an hour before it opens. Due to one of those strange psychological triggers, a queue forms behind him of 30 people who stand stoically for as long as it takes.
2) The misplaced: The one who, despite endless warnings, he carries a razor and a liter water bottle and a half in the suitcase that are obviously intercepted at baggage control.
3)The virgin: He has never flown. Above all, they are older men who have a regular time pulling badly and children who are so nervous that it is impossible not to get infected by his enthusiasm. In both cases they will endure the blast of the air conditioning stoically throughout the flight without knowing that the button to close it is right above his head.
4) Herod: He will express his hatred against two specimens that are also very frequent on flights: 1) the crying baby (who, after all, can't do anything to calm down) and 2) the absolutely insufferable boy who screams, runs down the aisle of the plane and kicks the front seat without his undaunted parents doing anything.
5)The one that sucks free samples: The hours before the flight become less burdensome with the invaluable help of airport stores. The perfumeries are especially tempting and so there are those who get on the plane with their hands smeared with a thousand creams, smelling of several different perfumes and even with traces of glitter on the cheeks.
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6) The passionate: One should not go to the extremes of Elvis Crespo, but it is obvious that Emmanuelle marked a sexual milestone in our weak and impressionable minds just as Pretty Woman would do years later with the strawberry+champagne+jacuzzi combo. On long flights, many are those who fantasize about having sex in the bathroom with an attractive stranger, and without reaching that extreme that requires luck, skill and balance, flirting on airplanes is quite common . After all, five hours ahead are made much more bearable by the prospect of an attractive companion in the seat next to you.
7) The mass leader: The one who, in one of the frequent cases of inexplicable delay or cancellation of a flight, harangued the rest of the passengers to make a collective protest.
8) The happiest person in the world: The one that, due to overbooking in tourist class, is transferred to first class.
9) The most popular person in the world: The one that travels with a cat or a small dog in a carrier.
10) The consumerist: The waiting time before catching a plane is short because he takes the opportunity to visit each and every one of the shops in the terminal, renewing his wardrobe and buying souvenirs for all his loved ones. He will enter the plane with several dozen bags and regretting that he didn't have time to visit the local football team store.
11) The one who is afraid of flying: One of the worst possible seatmates because he will end up spreading his terror to everyone around him. Talking to him is like talking to a qualified pharmacist, and he will always complain about how little effect the tranquilizers have on him.
12) The one with ear problems: He is recognizable because he chews gum with his mouth wide open, repeatedly pinches his ears, and constantly unplugs his nose as if diving into crystal clear waters.
13) The one who is on the verge of an anxiety attack: The one who knows that he is about to miss the connection with another flight. He constantly checks the time, he has informed the cabin crew and his companions of his desperate situation and as soon as the plane lands he will ask the passengers standing between him and the exit door to let him through first. Probably his second plane has already left , But hope is the last thing you lose.
14)The smoker: In small airports he will hurry until the last minute smoking in the street, next to the taxi stand and under the watchful eye of some long-suffering friend or partner who has offered to keep him company. In large airports, the first thing you will do once you have passed through control is to locate the smoking room, which can be a filthy little room with a carpet full of tiles or an airy outdoor area filled with plants turned into ashtrays. That's where all the waiting time will be, with a few trips to duty free to buy cartons of tobacco.
15) The lover of traditions: He is the person who in his normal life never takes Toblerone but can't help but buy a giant one every time he flies.
16) The internetaholic: He will roam the terminal desperately searching for free Wi-Fi. In Spanish airports this is a practically impossible mission.
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17) The one who does not stop talking on the mobile: The entire boarding queue finds out about his sentimental situation, about the business he has in hand and what he plans to do as soon as he arrives at the destination hotel. He won't stop talking until a steward tells him that he has to turn off his cell phone. There is an even more irritating variety consisting of also using the hands-free.
18)The never-without-battery: The one who spends his downtime at the airport sitting on the ground next to his mobile phone and tablet conveniently plugged in and charging.
19) The forgetful: He kept checking in online until the last minute until he no longer had a choice. He will look a bit enviously at passengers entering the airport and heading straight for checkpoint with their hand luggage rolling alongside.
20) The sucker who flies for the first time on Ryanair: When you find out how much they charge you to print your boarding pass and how severe they can get with the size of your carry-on baggage, you will cry and curse the whole heavenly dome, all before the eyes of pity and sympathy from the rest. of travelers.
21) The resigned: When they report any of the fatalities that can occur at an airport (the plane doesn't leave, there's a strike in France, a two-hour delay) he never gets irritated or protests. He pulls out a book and a sandwich and pulls the best zen spirit out of him to hold on until everything is resolved.
22) The one who turns the airport into his house: They are usually young backpackers who catch flights at odd hours or unfortunate victims of some delay. They sleep on benches, feed from vending machines, they wash their socks in the sinks and some end up befriending the ground crew.
23) The one who gets drunk: Melendi before becoming the perfect son-in-law was an extreme example of this behavior.
24) The picky eater: He will not have remembered to notify the airline in advance of his preferences (vegetarian, kosher, gluten-free menu) but that will not prevent him from protesting and objecting to each of the options that they offer him, looking suspiciously at macaroni or chicken from the trays of the travelers next door.
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25) The one who sleeps the whole trip: He is usually a variation of the traveler with a fear of flying that the tranquilizers do have an effect on.
26) The one who does not shut up: He won't care what his seatmate's intentions are; he has come to talk and talking is what he is going to do throughout the flight.
27) The one who establishes a barrier by putting on helmets: Clever companion of the previous traveler, as soon as he sees the percale he will put on some helmets and look at infinity to cut off any type of communication. Sometimes the headphones are not connected to anything.
28) The one who laughs out loud at the movie he is watching: That way everyone will know how hilarious _The Hangover 3_ is.
29) The fanatic of the press: With him the paper press is not in danger. He will face the flight with several newspapers, a couple of gossip magazines, one movie magazine, three travel magazines and several lifestyle magazines. Of course he will also give a good account of the corporate magazine of the airline.
30) The one who complains because they do not speak to him in his language: He can provoke an international conflict.
31) The architecture lover: He walks the terminal, camera at the ready, ignoring the shops and cafes; he will only have eyes for the ceilings, the materials and the brilliant finishes of that engineering work.
32) The heart attack: He will realize half an hour before catching the plane that he has lost the passport or he has expired. Races through the airport until they reach the police station, a family fight and a photo in the document in which he will come out sweaty and with an anguished face will be the consequences of the mistake.
33) The envied: The far-sighted traveler who carries an inflatable neck pillow.
34) The one who wants to envy: He is looking forward to being able to turn on his cell phone to check in on his destination and that all his contacts are raging.
35) The passenger who rises like a spring as soon as the plane lands: He will spend twenty minutes standing with his neck bent looking at infinity until he can get out of his seat.
36) The passenger who stays seated until he empties himself: Cooler than an eight, he'll complete his reading snuggled up in his seat until he's the last one left on the plane.
37) The anguished: He visibly suffers next to the baggage carousel because his suitcase does not appear. When he finally arrives he gets the greatest joy of his life.
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